Had my blood results again today,
Another inconclusive answer,
I may, I may not be ovulating,
A pregnancy seems so far away,
All I dream, wish & hope for seem to be on hold, maybe until forever or until made in a lab, unless we're really lucky & we can make one on our own.
I fear all the medication,
Injecting myself each day, as my only hope to conceive a little baby boy or girl,
The one thing in life that is meant to be natural, without a second thought,
Yet there's me & my loved one wanting, without much hope in site,
Cuddles in bed just don't do the job,
It may have to be a test tube baby made within the lab,
All the doctor's helping,  all the tests that come, with a chance of still leaving with none.
All the love to give, we have,
All the guidance,  we can give,
All the things a child could wish for we'd do all we could.
Yet the day with two blue lines seems to be a wish to far,
We'll fight & fight but hope seems to fade,
But the love for a baby grows each & every day.

The pains so deep, it hurts so much
I try to smile but tears just flow,
I try & hide it & most dont no
I yern for a child.
Sickness, stretch marks, sleepless nights i'd take it all,
The pain would all be easier than it is right now.
I see people just complaining, they want a break, wishing things were easier & nights didn't go on so late.
Girls becoming mothers at a tender young age, not knowing what to do or to expect,
Others not caring not wanting things to change, just wanting life to continue as it did before,
Then there's those who feel angry that it happened to them, those giving up there children or hurting them in ways that i can't even bear to hear.
Whereas all i want is to be called mammy & feel that love so strong,
Id give them my all & teach them all the things to know, id play & laugh, teach & love & hold them in my arms.
I want to feel them kick inside,
I want to see that very first smile,
I want to feel their little hand grasp onto mine, hear their little laughs & hold them close when they cry.
Drity nappys im happy to change,
Getting up throughout the night would be a joy to see their face,
The expense dont matter, we'd pull though.
I long to be a mammy to a little boy or girl.

Im fed up of the heartache,
Fed up of the pain,
Fed up of the tears rolling down my chin,
Life is a battle that im trying my best to win.
From morning light till the dark of the night,
Its fight, fight, fight,
Fighting to smile,
Trying not to cry,
Is this a battle that I'm even gonna win?

My love for you is unconditional,
I'd give my last breath for you to smile,
As I hold your hand my heart melts,
As you hold me & kiss me softly,
my whole body shakes with pleasure,
As I dream at night, your by my side,
I never want our time to end,
If u wanted to moon i'd steel it for you,
As you've already stolen my heart,
Our time together seems like a dream,
A dream I never want to end,
I dream of our future, all the things we want,
Making our own little family & our happy place,
I'd do anything for you,
Anything to make you happy,
As without you in my life, my life seems pointless,
Our hearts are joined with love & that will never break,
You & me forever, thats how life should be

I lie in my bed & tears roll down my face,
I cannot bear this pain no more but i have no choice.
I have no choice but to learn to live with this feeling.
My legs feel as if they ain't even mine,
The pain so server I want them off.
Can't do anything to ease or control it,
The drugs prescribed dont touch the sides, I just lay & cry.
I wonder why it's happening to me,
It just feels so unfair.
I understand that there are others much worse,
but I just want to be normal girl with a body that works.