i am healing myself one body part at a time.

today, my fingertips. tomorrow, my ears.

but what happens when the parts i think i’ve healed

go back to being burned?

when i knowingly put them back into the dangerous places

i know i should never go again.

i made that choice

but i suffer in silence.

and i start again tomorrow

healing my fingertips.

I wish I could’ve written down every word you’ve ever said to me

So that when I’m drowning in my mind

Your voice covering my ears

I will remember what it feels like to be loved by you.

I wish I could keep your warmth in a blanket

For the nights like this when the stars don’t burn as brightly as they should

And the moon hides behind the clouds

And I want nothing more than to be tangled up, wrapped up in you.

I want to put your laugh to music and

Let that song be stuck in my head all day just so I can think about your smile.

did you know

that the air right in front of your nose

after you breathe it in

goes into your blood

and

becomes a part of your body,

making your heart beat

making your muscles tense

making your lungs fill.

so when you share the air in front of you with someone

and they exhale

and you inhale

their air is a part of your body

your blood

and they make you a human being.

My body is itching for the touch of your fingertips.
If only I knew how to make you miss me
And everything we once knew.
When I’m alone in the silence of midnights and 3 AMs,
I am reliving all of the firsts and the lasts and the where-I-went-wrongs.

I wish I was a mind reader.

I want to crawl into the corners of your mind where no one else has ever dared to go

and I want to dwell there.

I want to open up new worlds of your brain

that you never thought you could live in.

I want to know what you’re thinking at this very second.

I guess I just want to know if you’ve been missing me.

Hey,

do you ever stop and feel that ache in your chest,

way down deep like,

and think

****,

I am seriously missing something there, and

I better see a doctor to

fill this ******* cavity in my chest

because that’s what I think.

Or do you ever see something that

makes you think about the time we never spent apart?

Those times we were surrounded by people who had no idea

we were sharing secret glances

because we were both a little tipsy

and we were both surprised we kept our hands off each other for

so long.

Well if not,

I think you should know,

that you have never left my ******* mind.

Not even for a second.

I have lied to myself

day after day.

I don’t need you, I don’t want you,

but that’s only because I don’t have you.

you make everything in this world
nowhere near as enchanting as it once was

the summer isn't nearly as warm as your body heat
and i so badly want to feel it

the stars are nothing compared to your eyes
so bright and strong and brave and bold

the moon is not as alluring as your smile
so excuse me if i stare when you laugh

i want to tell you all of these things
but you scare me
(and i like it).

i want to fight for you
i want to tell you how smart you are
i want to tell everyone that you're a part of me
and kiss you good night
         and good morning
         and good bye
and i want to cry when you cry
and laugh when you laugh
and tangle with you between blankets.

please tell me its okay to want this
to want you
please tell me you want me too.