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Oct 2010 · 659
Lost Time
Katie Conner Oct 2010
It’s the time we don’t get back.  Its like trying to get something you lost in the inky black of night.  The time you’ll not forget, matter how it was spent.  It’s the spark you have, but no flame cause its missing the flint.

You wish this was a dream.  Cause nothing is what it once seemed.  The time you want but you can’t have.  Your time has stopped still, while your real life is moving by so fast.  You cant rewind cause its already in the past, getting to the next day and forgetting the last.

Lost time is what was taken from me, that was mine!  Now it’s gone!  Here, think on this, what did you miss when you just blinked, now imagine that missing moment forever and on going, and that is what it feels like to me, a forever missing eternity.
Oct 2010 · 471
Untitled
Katie Conner Oct 2010
I think you give cause to raise my head

I see how we can erase all this dread

I hear your words of soft encouragement

It makes me think that this was destined.



I think of days now as rare sweet gifts.

The excitement in your eyes like butterfly mist.

I think that you are my soul’s own cure.

I think my heart has found it’s pure.



I see with you an improved place

I think that with you all evil will be erased

For in this world upon which we alight,

Every soul seeks to own its right



I long to feel your heart near mine

Beating closer to a harmonious time

I like your eyes looking sincerely unto me

But really can’t comprehend what it is you see



If somehow by the force of our worlds,

I lost you to forever,

I’d search for an eternity

Longing for my soul mate.
Oct 2010 · 625
Friendship Forgotten
Katie Conner Oct 2010
I remember all the times we spent together
Now we don’t even see each other

You were my best friend my soul mate and all

Until we tried something new



We decided to give one more step a chance

Thought it was unbreakable and was made to last

You said we will always be friends but yes, you had lied

My head is aching, my hear is breaking, what did we do?



Thanks for making me realize my life is just one big lie

Thanks for teaching me the biggest lesson of all

You taught me that you can’t trust anyone but yourself

You stole my heart and you broke it in two



Thanks for turning your back on me
Thanks for not telling the truth
Thanks for not being real

On my heart you’ve left a scar



Thanks for letting me think you actually cared

And that you would always be there

Who ever said that it’s best to be friends first

When something goes wrong it’s never the same



If only I could turn back time

I miss the touch of your friendship

I long to see that smile, and hear you laugh

I really miss that connection that I felt with you



Can we mend this rift or has it gone too far???
Oct 2010 · 631
Words Express
Katie Conner Oct 2010
I try to find the words
To express the feelings in my heart
I try to show you that I care
But I am not sure where to start

I guess I'll start right here
And I guess I'll start right now
I'll tell you I love you
And I'll tell you why, and how

You are the one I want to lay next too
When my time has passed
You are the one I've given myself too
And you will be the last
You are the one I want for life
Until the day I die
You are the one God sent for me
To be with and that that is no lie,

You are the one who brightens my day
With your smile bright and glowing
You are the one whom I wake up for
Each and Every single day.
Oct 2010 · 569
Downward Spiral
Katie Conner Oct 2010
I sit here and look at the walls in my cell....

I look at the puddle of tears on the ground from my eyes that have fell,....

I’d give anything for the touch of freedom, the sun on my face, even a smell....

It seems like a dream, it’s getting darker and my skin looks pale,....

I know there is a heaven but this place I know as Hell.....

Every night I wake up from bad dreams that I scream, cry and yell!!....

I look for someone to say I love you, its ok....

But it’s just an empty cell, ....

So one more step down lower I have fell....

I know there are people who love me....

Through the glass I see their faces and I can tell,....

We say I love you, and then they walk away,....

I go back to my cell and I break down, fall to my knees and cry,....

One more step I have fallen....

Some times I have hard time seeing in the mirror, ....

Cause it’s hard to see a reflection in it when your eyes are full of tears,....

I think about my life, and all the painful years, ....

But if I go anywhere, its ok, God is with me and no evil will I fear,....

It feels like my life has been cut short....

That my life and my freedom exist of thee days of court....

Again I feel hopeless and take steps down, not one, not two, or three, but four....

Then its darker and darker than before....

That I wonder if ....Ill.... be outside once more....

From all the crying my eyes are sore....

My hear feels like its been torn, forgotten about and buried in the thorns, ....

So I find myself at the bottom of this stair case,....

Wondering if ....Ill.... ever be rescued from this desolate place....

That now when I look in the mirror I can hardly recognize my face ....

I wake up and ask the Lord why have I been misplaced?....

That all I can taste is the tears from my face....

I’d take one more step down, but as it is I fall lower than solid ground....

It feels like an escalator or a marry go round, you go up and round and round ....

But then you return to go back down, there is the reason why my smile is now a frown....

And I return to the downward spiral that goes around and round and eventually goes down!!....
Oct 2010 · 854
The Tunnel
Katie Conner Oct 2010
I sit here, out my window and peak....

Tears fill my eyes cause my heart is weak....

I long for a hug, or a kiss on the cheek,....

I find myself digging out of this hole....

But it seems so deep. That I stop to take a breath....

Only enough to weep....

Then I pick myself up and wipe the tears from my cheeks....

I find myself happy and unrepressed....

Maybe once or twice a week....

Feels like rocks and dirt gave out, so a lil falls back in the hole I sink....

Think of not holding on, but of letting go....

Sinking into the deep....

I start back on my up an up....

That my heart and mind wont’ let me give “up”....

Life is full of troubles and heartache and loss....

That some people say that’s what makes us “us”....

That’s why we are mad, and sad, and we know its wrong but sometimes we “cuss”....

Then we find ourselves climbing out of the hole inch by inch....

We will break down and sink a bit, ....

Find ourselves frustrated and questioned,....

But its OK, we’ll find ourselves out of here....

In a lil bit, we will get out of this pit....

Cause there is light at the end of the tunnel....

This pit of depression we will pummel....

Will reach the top and end this heartache....

Cause this tunnel we all get caught....

Will go through swings of mad, sad, happy, broke down and glad....

But God is there with his hand to help you out and back on top.....
Oct 2010 · 462
Question of Love
Katie Conner Oct 2010
Our love was like a precious flower
Which you took upon yourself
Crushing it till nothing was left
Leaving the beautiful petals in your wake

You left a shattered heart
That is forced to heal
My happiness has come to an end
Hate has conquered all

The heart break you have caused
Is deeper than you can know
You have no notion of what love is
You took my heart and crippled it

Love is not just intimate moments
Love is not simply ***
Love is not something you can take
Only when its convenient

I am all cried out
My pain has been taken over by regret
I have no love left to lend
Now is my time to heal.

This love was just a figment of my imagination
Sadness is growing, Love is shrinking
When love has come, but soon is gone
It begs the question was it ever there

Sadness will soon come to an end,
happiness will conquered hate.
Love to sprout again sadness to shrink
hope has come again.
Oct 2010 · 1.0k
Silent Scream
Katie Conner Oct 2010
Screaming out loud at the top of my lungs, waiting for someone to hear my cries and instead I find myself in a faceless crowd not wanting to see, but remain blind to what is real.

Not wanting to fit in, but when standing out is not aloud, I find myself alone and thinking that fitting in is the way to go.

Why can't I be me, why must I conform and fit in, When will you accept me for who I am, a human being, a friend, your daughter, sister, mother, wife.

Everyone makes mistakes, so why must mine be displayed for all to see and judge. I am not perfect, and I don't want to be, I just want to be me.
Oct 2010 · 758
Two Dimensional Love
Katie Conner Oct 2010
Your picture which I hold in my hand
By itself it could never stand
For in dimensions, it does lack
The third and foremost of the pack
It will not kiss me on demand
It can not love me with a gentle hand
And warmth it never can imbue
To this poor soul who years for you
Torture me no more my sweet
Pictures can't such passions treat
And if they burn as mine do now
They need to be relieved somehow
Thus, to this truth I do adhere
That only you my dear
In three dimensions, can you clear,
This burning which is so severe
So fly to me - do not delay
I can not wait another day
And free me from the torments of
This raging two dimension love
Oct 2010 · 1.1k
Chance
Katie Conner Oct 2010
A chance encounter of the best kind
A meeting arranged by fate

Two souls have come together
Two hearts can now relate

Exploring has uncovered what belongs
A tender love sublime

Whose roots grow deep
To withstand the test of time

This much I know within my heart
That we were meant to be

To share the joys of life
Throughout eternity

So now I ask with an open heart
Barring my soul to thee

Will you take this chance with me?
And let’s travel through eternity
Oct 2010 · 533
The Test of Time
Katie Conner Oct 2010
A one way love can never thrive
It needs reciprocation

And so in order to survive
My loves needs affirmation

So throw your caution to the sky
And let your heart command

You will find that it will not deny
A love which must expand

Come now, come to me with open arms
And sweep me off my feet

And then display for me your charms
To make my love complete

My one way love will terminate
Without your inspiration

So therefore, please reciprocate
With no more hesitation
Oct 2010 · 613
Ones Loveing Embrace
Katie Conner Oct 2010
My thoughts are with you tonight
Although, we are miles apart
The distance only embeds my love for you,
Deep with in my lonely heart.

Just to see your face
And to feel your warm embrace
Would take away all that time has given
And make this life of mine
Worth living again

Your lips speak soft sweetness
Your touch a cool caress
I am lost in your magic
My heart beats with in your chest

To love is to help and encourage
With smiles and sincere words of praise
To take time to share
To listen and care
In tender, affectionate ways

You bring such joy to my heart
I’ve never felt so alive before
With each touch of your hand I crave
I love you more and more each day

What is love, but an emotion?
So strong and so pure,
That nurtured and shared with one another
All tests it will endure

By:  Katie Conner
For:  Someone very special and dear to me
You have made a difference in my Life.
Oct 2010 · 537
Falling Down
Katie Conner Oct 2010
I'm standing here
right in the middle of everything
I don't know what to do
you've got me all confused
The wind is blowing me backward
pressing against my chest
I can't breathe
I need to find a way to be relieved
of all this stress
So with the wind I will choose
To let it push me backward
and the thought of finally falling down
it feels so good to me
I'm swinging her above you all
as an under-achiever
I'm doing everything I can
while becoming
a non-believer
My hands are holding firmly
to this bar you see above me
but it has rained hard last night
and its getting harder to hold on this tight
And so I'm slipping
and my hands are aching
I'm crying so hard
and my back is breaking
So I'll let go from all of this
and as I'm letting go
it feels so good
to finally fall
You all say something different
but the decision is up to me
you all give me your input
and you tell me life is the key
With your hands pushing me down
you don't care at all
If I'm so **** important
Why will you let me fall
But I don't want this responsibility
and I don’t want this decision to be up to me
So I'll let all y our hands
push me till I fall
It feels so good to be giving in
letting go and falling down
I'm so stretched out in every single way
I'll have to do tomorrow
What I didn’t get done today
For now
Just this one time
I know what I want
So let it be mine
I want to fall down
and never get back up
I want to let go
I want to give up
Do what you want to me
I'm scared and tired
I'm so sick of this

I am… I am sick of me
- From Rambelings of an Angel

— The End —