People go by
Unnoticed
Hidden behind what they have built
Everyone’s so far away
Distant
Glue couldn’t bring two together
Magnets turn dull
People don’t want to attract
Afraid they might be seen
Finally be held
Afraid of the touch
Deeper insecurities
Deeper hurt
Scratches deep beyond the flesh
Behind the veil you see
This is a temporary home
This is a temporary escape
I’m here to build myself
Find myself
Love myself
I haven’t been able to live
Afraid and absorbed in my temporary condition
But ill shed this one
My skin will lose its elasticity
My body will grow old and weak
And all i'll have is my memories,
My puzzled thoughts and feelings

Yesterday was one of those days I hope I experience only once in a blue moon
There was a crescent moon
I sat on the balcony and smoked my bowl
Filled the air with clouds
Emptied my heart of some of the ache
Reflecting is always a *****
You can make the scenario however you want to
As long as you believe that’s how it happened
Some days my battery isn’t charged
There was no coffee in my blood
Only black tar in my lungs,
Black tar in my heart
Yesterday was one of those days that reminded me that progress is subjective to how you feel
I felt like ****
The mirror was a ****** reflection of how I felt
My skin looked better than most days
My clothes are nice
And I stare at myself in the room that is mine
All these possessions
And I know I own nothing
I know it’s all meaningless
Disgusted from myself for buying into everything
I wish I didn’t
Yesterday was one of those days that reminded me how good I’ve become at lying to myself
It reminded me I don’t know myself
On the night of the crescent moon
I understood the struggle of being human

Foolish minds
You’ve assumed I’m in love
I fiddle around perhaps
As I do with many,
Testing my heart and my horizons.
The clear liquid to warm me up,
For I am afraid of a golden heart turning cold and rusting in a wicked world.
Other days the chemicals remind my brain to snap out of its knot.
Or when I am behaved,
And the validation on the university transcript tell me I have succeeded
I indulge in the treats the soil offers me,
Fresh snow and white powder.
But darling you’ve misread the meaning between the lines
I am not in love with the substance,
Only my stripped nature
Where I tread lighter than my goal weight
And I dance wild and free
For the lack of rhythm doesn’t prevent me
From stumbling over my heels in laughs
Or kissing you because I please to
I act on my desires and I fulfill my fantasies.
But the material in between who I am and who I wish to always be is an illusion.
I am not infatuated with the inanimate, only the breathing flesh
When I am alive, and no longer living
My own possibilities and capabilities are crystal,
Demanding of an audience for witness
For when my heart skips its beats
And my jaw clenches
And I see the earth with a wider lens
More vivid, brighter and through a kaleidoscope perspective  
I am not in love with the pill
Or the substance
Only myself,
Always myself.
So you are party correct,
But deeply misunderstood.
As am I.