Some days it feels like I'm still there.
Lost in the ridiculousness we called us.
Listening to the ocean breeze crescendo over here,
I barely remember what was all the fuss.

Something about what I said or did I'm sure.
Always messing up; what I did best.
Was making me your ***** the cure?
Felt like it, say what you want to the rest.

Why did I think you were worth it?
Manipulate me more, baby, you know you want it.
Put down the glass of ice water and sit.
Exhausted with all of your childish fits.

I can feel it.
Hazy and slow,
like a snake
at a show.

Smoky,
Creeping,
I can see you Sleep!
I know!

Heavy eyes
and tired limbs,
Dreams you'll keep,
Sleep, dear foe.

I've never written words so strong
for a love; simple and sweet.
But for it my heart does long,
Waiting to be swept off it's feet.
Hope for a response in song,
A heart with a similar beat.

Rosy cheeks and bubble gum curls,
Learning as she goes.
Better than all the girls,
My little sister.

Who is this God?
about whom I constantly hear?
is he all-loving?
is he even here?

Does he stand by,
some say very near,
to watch what you do,
Will he be there to cheer?

If so, does he watch?
when we break down in fear?
while we struggle to survive?
all with an unwavering stare?

Who is this God person?
A boat captain that doesn't steer?
A being that stands and waits,
watching from the rear?

You and I, we are one.
Me, myself, and one more.
Without you, undone.
heart drifting, floating, lost from shore.

I’m going crazy.
And blocked from my muse.
Talent growing hazy.
No concentration, burning the fuze.

Broken and ***** toy,
I’ve been thrown apart.
Wake me up, boy,
I can’t hear my own heart.

The last word has been written.
My pencil, dotting the I.
Excitement is fitting,
but I end with a sigh.

I've let my self down,
my potential; a waste.
It ends with a frown
and a tear on my face.

I am restless,
here in this place,
I can feel the change
quickening my pace.

I'll step forward,
with tears on my face.
Lift my face to the light,
I'll dig down and brace.

It's time to work,
to show my ace.
I'll be happy in the end,
and I'll do it with grace.

I'd break if I could.
Scream, cry, and kick.
Even if the branch is burning
From both sides
I can't stop; I won't.
I'll be a coward no more.

Ill stand up, like I should.
Say no more of this schtick,
My life is turning,
And I'll weather the tides,
But even if some things don't,
I'm ready to mend what you tore.

Ridiculous, I'm lit
but drowning in pain.
quick! I've lost it,
I'm no longer sane.

I stand; wait for your lash.
I hear words all around,
slice, bruise, bash,
my heart into ground.

Run rabbit run,
from what You know,
It will be lots of fun,
my pain will grow.

You think you're fit?
then bring down the cane,
choking on the bullet I bit,
suffocation in lock and chain.

wreaking of ***** and ash,
you stumble in with sound,
throw me out like trash,
my words have been drowned.

Here I am, loaded gun.
Your worst enemy, you know.
but your words will be undone,
and I will defeat the crow.

Here in this place,
screaming to change,
the truth will slap me,
smack in the face.

I cringe at the thought,
to lose it all.
I've been waiting so long,
lost and fought.

I find myself on the edge,
tipping over, about to fall.
A change on the rise,
before i'm off the ledge.

Come back to me,
or set me sail,
to sail a sea,
and find a new male.

If cupid's got a gun,
then I'm *******,
ice cream in the sun,
lost the battle before it's begun.

And if all this is just for fun,
then I don't want to play,
from it, I will surely run,
at least until the game is done.

Can't feel reality over the bubble in my chest.
Or is it that reality exists inside the bubble?
What if I'm waiting for it to pop?
And when it does I'll feel real again.
Really though am I ready?
Do I think I can handle it all?