I should have known
that you weren't over
her.

I should have known
that it was over before it
even began.

Spitting out violently
her words {like chains}
Surrounded me.
Strangled me.

asphyxiation
to the point of death

Swimming around me
my life {almost gone}
Winking at me and laughing
were the stars.
They considered it an inside joke.

Pouring out {sorrowfully and suddenly}
her tears tried to hug me.
Every single inch she tries to make
toward me puts
another ******* mile
between us.
{why try anymore?}

The stars
have disappeared
and left me {like everyone else}

"This is what you wanted."
{"you deserve this"}
I'm starting to believe them.

I cannot remember what the stars look like
{anymore}

They sit there
And stare.
They think they know me
They don't.
They ask, "why?"
Hell if I know.

And they will never know why.

That's the beginning of my story. It ends the same way.

But before the beginning, I had
hopes, dreams.
Just like every other girl.

"Don't be silly, little girl.
You'll soon grow up and realize
that the world
is one ******. up. place."

Not as ****** up as myself, though.

Jumbled around and swirling
As if the memories are the
just-flushed toilet with the water
racing to get out.

It was the little things.
That pieced it all together
And finally the pieces fit right,
as if your friendship was a puzzle.
You had finally found that one person who got you.

The one person who laughed with you for 20 minutes
over absolutely nothing.
The person who trudged around town with you
Your flip-flops slapping against the pavement.
The person who went same movie twice in a day
Just so you both got to make out with your boyfriends.
The one person who you had a couples name with
And an anniversary with, too.

But eventually,
You will realize that the perfect fitting pieces were
Jammed together to make the puzzle fit
And the puzzle picture that you once thought was
beautiful
Makes no picture at all.