I am standing here myself by the kitchen table,

the facet drips in the sink...drip, drip, drip,

a familiar repellent sound.

I raise my head upwards with the final beauty

of the done deed...

here in this shabby hotel in the darkest of places

in the city, where the winos roam and  beggars die.

I walk to the room with the white shadow on a blood

splattered wall, a red hand print on the door.

i lift the hank of sticky hair from a worn chair and smell

the clotted blood.

I am filled with weariness; one man's answer to the belly pain.

My eye is a match-flame, the pain a solid lump.

Who will clean up this mess? Who?

I close my eyes in divinity and pain. No redemption...

The neighbors did not hear, they never do not with the radio

blasting out the rock and roll of a seventies tune...

Now there is no noise but a lack of sound.

i have gone deaf from the scream but the scream

was hours or days ago and the radio is unplugged and i stand in

black blood, it covers me and the bathroom is filthy and I

want to leave but stay and try to light a cigarette with shaking

hands. The room is empty except for material things...

strange to feel this cold...her gift of love too clumsy, too worn

not enough to hold me stable not in this dark place.

Why in this space of cockroaches, and stale muscatel?

The room does not answer only its broken ugliness hisses,

and where is the body, curled like a beaten infant in the corner?

Will rats devour her? There is a male insistency on meaning.

i can find no meaning in this stagnant air.

She laughed at me and my hands became weapons.

What was I doing in this shadow-land of the city?

Following what? Death! My death...

Now, i hear again the water dripping, it rips my nerves.

I am strung to a fine pitch...to know, to know not be erased

like so much dirt...dirt is here. i do not live here. Can I burn the

body in the bathtub and run the brown rust water and it will

go away? How many people on this planet starve to death

every second? What time is it? She stole my watch, the *****.

I give it all back. I give her retched life back. I am covered with

her blood and I long to be clean. Long to be rid of her rotting

stench. Who will call the police? I will. i know that as I know the

corpse because I must have wanted this. i have no understanding.

It was a surge of life i sought and only found death. My death,

her death and the world's death. Our planet will die ,just this way

with a dripping facet and a ****** shadow...

The world will die with me.

My song is sad it makes me cry.
Alone in this world and waiting to die.
When we have used up every ruse
and can't find a new convention;
we are left with shadows and little attention.
We ask ourselves, what did it mean?
It was being human without a dream.
The dream is what makes life an adventure.
Without it, life is empty with no exception...

The first sign...

A flock of ravens hurling

Down to the dirt

Small black bodies broken

The second sign

Silence

The third sign

All the bees disappeared

The fourth sign

The frantic beating of wings

The fifth sign

All the fields of harvest flamed

Fire red

The sixth sign

The sky turned black as coal

The seventh and last sign

Was death

Then a dreadful silence

No one saw the signs...

Out of a weeping forest a mysterious river flows.

It carries all the souls who lost their way and

have found no place to go.

The river travels very far into the womb of sea.

There the souls met others who came this way to be.

They gather round in floating fright wondering if it

is day or night.

They ponder their predicament and find no answer

to make things right.

The forest where they lost their way weeps for

them every day.

The river gently rushes through collecting those

who must pay their dues.

The ocean's womb is a forever thing that is

the tradegy, that is the sting.

One way in and no way out...

forever doomed to eternal doubt.

you are

a dark thing

between shadow and light

hidden

till i find you

fresh earthy fragrance

your cold hand on

my chest

in sleep

you live darkly

in my slumber

as a blue vapor hovers

in the room

you will dissolve

as the dark blood

leaves my

memory

drained of breath

till you cease to be

or we finally

burn together

I lay me down to sleep with dark thoughts

     swirling in my brain.

I knew the dreams would come

     and I would live again.

The dream life was exhausting

     as I met strangers and made house.

Dreams took me from my frosty life

     and lead me to release of spouse.

I'd travel to strange places,

     drink to my delight.

Wake up with indigestion

      in the middle of the night.

I lay there in the morning my

      heart racing to a dread.

Was I able to breath

      or was I really dead?

My gasp for air

     was a shuddering feat.

Then I would gasp again.

My wife she lay beside me

     unaware of where I'd been.

I'd look at her disgruntled

     face in sleep.

Asking why I had to

     take that breath?

I did so long to live again...

     so I went back to sleep.

Love can leave a terrible sting

especially when it has taken wing

The lover sits and knows why.

The sky is black and full of lies.

The cistern of my lust and desire;

squelched by water, oil and fire.

My heart, a blinking thing

gone mute.

Forgiveness never comes with truth.

That is where i went quit wrong.

Months and months of a sad, sick song.

Finally, lover's coals are put on the hearth.

There they stay till  winter's march.

A miracle of plain design, so quietly it sneaks

in with its design.

My heart a happy beast at last.

Love returned  bravely but will it last?

In the begining...

It was not a void...miracles were happening in a
Time before Time.

Time pasr...Time present...Time future...

The earth may be shifting; she shifted before...

We make it happen when we open the door:
eternal Time.

All matter contains life. Talk to the stone.

When we accept this truth we are never alone.

The Law states: We cannot go backward--
forward we must go.

There is no death only change of form. Now, do you know?

We are in the song which is yet to be sung.

Forever and always, we will never be done.

Not this Time!

In this dark of times
shadows drape like drop cloths
I know the pull of pure desire
My days and nights scorch like fire
The walls sweat with my profanity
I see a torn moon and
Fill with chill of sun at noon
Death of soul I don't repel
My dark desire flames the fire
To lust for flesh against my own
I traveled looking returned alone
I am spent from evil winds
Torn asunder with life's thunder
I throw myself into unnatural light
In hope of sleep I pay a price
Waiting for lust to burn to ash...