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5.1k · Jul 2011
I Am
Kathleen Lisa Jul 2011
I am done.
I am done with being a plaything
A passing fancy
Being taken lightly and used.
I am more than a pair of *****.
I am a human being.
I have a heart.
A brain.
A soul.
I will not be friends with benefits with you.
I want a real relationship.
Someone who loves me
And isn't afraid to show it.
Someone who makes me feel special.
I am not asking for perfect.
I am asking you see me for me
Scars
Broken heart
Ill mind
And all my other imperfections
And love me.
Unconditionally.
I am asking you to never let me go.
And until you appear
I am waiting.
I am.;
705 · Jul 2011
Take Me Away
Kathleen Lisa Jul 2011
Take me away
From my sorrows and my pain
Take me away
Where things seem to be sane

Take me away
Where you're only mine
Take me away
Where there's no notion of time

Take me away
Come sweep me off my feet
Take me away
Where everything's sweet

Take me away
To the center of your heart
Take me away
Where I'll never depart;
705 · Jul 2011
The Voices
Kathleen Lisa Jul 2011
I hear a voice.
I'm not crazy...
Or am I?
The voice is persuasive.
Persistent.
A constant in my pitiful life.
It laughs at me.
Tells me I'm worthless,
No one cares,
I'm a coward for not having done this sooner.
And this time, it tells me,
There's nothing to stop me.
No reason left to be alive.
The voice taunts me.
Laughs at me.
Convinces me
That I'm pointless,
And to run the knife across my wrist,
To accidentally cut myself shaving,
To climb onto the roof
And jump
Or hang myself,
To overdose,
To drown myself in the bathtub
Would be a great idea.
People would be glad.
And now, I hear another voice.
Yup, I'm crazy...
Right?
This voice is quiet,
Kind, as opposed to the first.
It reminds me
I am here for a reason.
The voice has a plan for me,
It knows I'm worth it,
After all, it created me.
The voice reminds me of the peole who care.
Screaming, the first voice leaves,
But promises he'll be back
As I give the second voice my full attention,
And decide to live another day.;
I'm marking this as explicit, just in case. It's really dark.
694 · Jul 2011
Cut
Kathleen Lisa Jul 2011
Cut
I sit and wait
Wait for this mental suffering to end
For someone to tell me it'll all be okay
That someone doesn't come
The thoughts do
You can end it all
You're pathetic
Worthless
No one cares
But I know I shouldn't end it
I want an eternity, though I know I don't deserve it
But how do I escape this?
And there's my familiar friend
Sitting next to me
Beckoning me
To press his blade into my skin
To make my mental pain physical
To make myself bleed
I pick him up
And listen to him
I let out a few sobs
As my blood runs down my arm
But I quickly shut up
Someone might hear
I wipe my tears and blood away
Walk out of the bathroom
And smile through my pain.;
Marking as explicit, just in case. Dark.
547 · Jul 2011
Cracked
Kathleen Lisa Jul 2011
I should have known
It would be you
To melt the ice within me
Clear away the grime
And throw open the shutters to the world
And as soon as I could finally
Feel the warm, fluid motion of my it
See me when I looked into it
And give freely of it to everyone
You froze it again
You threw it in the dirt and created even more grime
And bolted the shutters closed
And as if that wasn't enough
You've hit it so many times
With your words
Your ideas
Your thoughts
And you've left it
Cracked
535 · Jul 2011
The Act
Kathleen Lisa Jul 2011
All the world's a stage for me,
My life, a delicate act.
Pretending I have no problems,
I leave those in the dressing room each day.
Scene one, I put on my smile,
And pretend I'm beautifully care-free
Exit stage right, lock the dressing room door
And cry myself to sleep.
Scene two, whatever the audience wants,
I'm only here to amuse
Exit stage left, and lie down for the night
Staring at the ceiling, half-dead.
Scene three, pretend I love my life,
Dance and laugh and sing
Exit once more, one very last time,
And make my plans to die.
481 · Jul 2011
Save Me
Kathleen Lisa Jul 2011
Exit Logic, stage right.
Enter The Fog.

It permeates my mind,
Rendering me helpless
Against the overwhelming sense of nothing.
My mind goes blank to anything but utter sadness,
My body goes dead, as I wish to be.
As I cry,
I wish for someone to save me,
To pull me from this thick, black fog.
And my sobs become words;
Save...
Me...
And I remember the once upon a time,
When there was someone,
My hero
Who could find me,
And bring me back to life.
My own sobs snap me back to reality;
Save...
Me...
And then I recall, my someone is gone,
And all I have is this fog.
This heavy mass of sadness,
That won't leave me
Until I find someone
Who will always be there
And can
Save...
Me...;
445 · Jul 2011
What is Forever?
Kathleen Lisa Jul 2011
You say you can't imagine being without me,
That you love me, and you always have.
That you'll love me forever.
But what is forever?
Is it truly an undying, never-ending sort of thing?
Or is it just something that ends in an instant,
When you decide there's no longer love?
What is forever?
Can forever be defined as a physical happening,
When you hold me as I drift to sleep?
When we stay locked in an embrace, simply staring into each other's eyes?
What is forever?
Is it just a sweet nothing,
Ultimately a lie in the grand scheme of things?
Is it just meaningless words to you?
What is forever?
Is it a far away, distant time?
Is it non-existent, and this love will continue, even after death?
Or is it soon, the blink of an eye?
What is forever?
While I can't imagine being without you as well,
And I know I love you too,
I'm wondering if you could tell me, because you seem to know,
What is forever?;

— The End —