such a burden to
open your heart to someone
new, to lay it out
splayed out on the table
like unfiled papers undocumented
in time or place

only case
cos slow and steady wins the
race

i’m scared
i’m scared that you will
see me as i am
all my bulges and bruises and
lines and decide that i am too much
or not enough
to fill the space between your arms

i’m scared that i won’t
have enough to say, that you
will tire of me and i’ll be stuck
in the purgatory between your mouth
and your heart

i’m scared
to love as i have loved before, butterflies
so new and strange, turn to
fire and smolder for years at a
time, grieving what should have
could have would have
been had i just been
different

you make me want to be better

you make me want to let
go of the insecurities that have dwelled
in the burning depths of my gut for
so long
and be myself

you make me forget
that i’m shy
that i’m not enough
that i’m too much

hold me close

kiss my palms

and i will hold you tighter

goodnight, handsome

twisted stomachs guts and spilling
feelings down between the
hipbones at the sound of your
rumbling voice

your
perfect laugh

you’re

perfect

and i wonder at the
feeling of growing seeds
flowers in the summer heat of my
thighs

is this what it feels like
for love to grow?

"i wish you were here!" like a
postcard from a journey to a place
too far away from you

it’s hard to think straight when
all i can do is imagine your hands on
my lower back or my cheek or
over my lungs as i breathe your name
like a prayer to god who could
move a mountain or two

connecting me to you

distance is only the passage of
time to connect two dots, it feels
like an illusion it feels like
something i made up in my
mind

an excuse
for no use

i can’t get you out of my
head, i can’t get you out of my
words, i can’t get you
out of my
hands

into my heart