No one wants a sad girl
I just hide and curl
No one wants to see me cry
Or complain about life
I see  people happy I wonder what that is like
To live in the moment
From time to time
I dont like to be alone
But alone I find myself
Living and wishing I was someone else
I was born like this, I remember as a child
Being alone and always saying goodbye

I feel like I fail all the time in life
My relationships dont work
My agenda wont get full
I am just a joke

I'm sorry I've let you down
Im not as strong as I should be
I'm fighting my own battles
Trying to not take things personal
But I fail each time
I let my guard down
I dont limit myself and others
I'm a mess
But I keep trying everyday
Even though it never seems to get better
Somedays are good and some days are blue
But Im trying each day
I hope I can learn to love myself
To hold myself in high standards
Wait for it
I know you go this, my dear

I dont wanna be like this
Overthinking every thing
I wanna be careless and free
But I cant let go of certain things
Obssesing thoughts
Running in circles in my mind
Picking the bad guys
I need to stay grounded
I need to let go of the past
I need to let people be
I cant live like this
I feel like Ill never be happy
That nothing is enough
I cant get rid of my anxiety
I need drugs to stay sane
I need more things to live and survive
My life is not enough
I close my heart to anyone I know
I cant sleep at night
My heart is shattered
I dont know what to do with myself

I was happy
I was stable
I met someone who made me laugh
And I woke up
None of it was true
Im all alone
No one to hold
No one to carry my burdens for me
I tried carrying yours because I know what It feels like to carry them on your own
Reality sets in
Im afraid
I wont get to see my dreams come true
It doesnt matter what you do you wont get the same in return
Someone will always take your place
You're not special
Your house doesnt feel like a home
Each day you question your worth
Am I good enough? Am I worthy of love?
I cant carry on living
I might as well just shut down
Time flies
My worries dont
They stay with me until I cry myself to sleep
Heaven is a place I dont belong

Some days I feel fine, like the world is alright
Summer time is my jam
But my feelings I cannot tell
They are not the same each day
Somedays I dream of them
And my love is not defined by what you say or by how you act
But by the level of rejection that you provide
Im filled with traumas and feeling unkind
My heart is huge but this love it shuts down with time
I get bored I cant unwind but when we are apart I just dont feel fine

I wish I had a son and a daughter
So I could teach him how to always care for eachother
I never had that
Felt rejected since birth
My sister grew up and stayed away from me
Now being alone is all I see
Those relationships made me unwell
But now I can do what I can and help who I can
Change is always good but the chance must be in you
Leave those worries behind
Just enjoy whoevef you have in your life