Sometimes, my mind won't work.
Sometimes, I know I’m doing something wrong but I still do it
I become a spider on the corner of the ceiling
And look down on this twisted human
Doing things that I know I shouldn't

Sometimes, my eye will twitch
When I ignore it
It will dig deeper into my skin and eventually reach my brain
Sometimes I press my finger to it and try to steady it
But it only worsens
And then it stops

Sometimes, I am happy
And calm
And beautiful
Sometimes, I can breathe
And I become a spider on the corner of the ceiling
I look down and can see a human
Doing things that people expect of me

No one would know that sometimes, I have to hold the spot by my eye
That twitches and digs and claws its way closer to my brain
No one would know that I am ugly and twisted
And broken in most places

The emptiness is expanding
The components in the air, crashing
Where on earth am I while space forever moves its boundaries?

The chemicals in my head are burning
My stomach won't stop churning.
My bodies turned an ugly blue-yellow
I could be saved if I could only breathe.

But a darkness is embracing
It's closing in, despite the day
The heaviness of a colorless sky
Is crashing on my chest

My lungs are shrinking
My heart might soon cease beating
The soul inside me is becoming undone
I can feel my eyes decaying

This is a joke but no ones laughing
My head into the wall, crashing
Hum as I walk
Hum
Keep the demons at bay
Stay

But this time they won't go away
They embrace me and begin to prey
I can't help but laugh and scream and shriek
Ive got a friend that's here to stay!

They're making the colors weigh on my chest
And my lungs collapse
And eyes decay
But their presence lingers so I am here, alive but in dismay
Stuck in a state of constant soul crushing pain
I  am bounded by their invisible chains

Here I am and forever will be
Personal purgatory
Just my demon and me

I don't want to be a bird soaring above the trees
But perhaps the egg nestled safely in its nest
I won't be the spider sewing its web
But the fly wound tightly in its grasp
Don't ask me to be a tree slowly reaching to touch the sky
But suggest I be a patch of moss
Tucked away in the trunks crevice
I wouldn't want to be the ocean
Vast and unfathomably deep
But a single wave that rises and falls, and retreats back into the sea

Someday, though, I might be the bird
I will spread my wings and dive into valleys
I will point my beak to the sky and rise above grey clouds
And when I die
My ashes will spread
It will blow past the trees branches that I never was and never will be
It will settle in the web of the spider
And as she moves to wind up her newest catch,
Some of my ashes will fall
They will be carried on the wind's current
When it stops it will touch water
And sink into the sea