So out of touch with reality
I think about it a lot
In the beginning
I did this
To dive right in
Take apart
The fibers of the fabrics
That make up the reality of dreams
In a night sky
Dance along the milky way of the word why
So that the answers
Would trickle down
There were no answers
In the beginning
I did this
To be free
But I forgot
How out of touch
Free
Means

I know I shouldn’t be
Digging up graves
Unlocking tombs
So I can listen to
Your breath

I know I shouldn’t be
Picturing you
That way that I did
Moonlight pouring through windows
Onto perfect dark skin
One of many reunions
And so many unions between
Timid lips
Our alliance was strong
But never quite steady

Two years later I’ve got that steady
Got that “hey honey you’re home and dinner’s ready”
Two years later I’m a liar
lying in bed
My ****** fan is loud
He is breathing
sleeping
but all I hear are raindrops
from summer afternoons where we collided again
The shhh
Your lips made
Trying to keep quiet in that closet at your dads place
I can’t decide if it’s my youth
Or you that I miss
If it’s
Your smile
When your kid sister beat me at video games
Or the perfect simplicity
Of living like kids

I gave my life away
And then I put it in a poem
All to write
About ripped couches and
Fears I create myself
And
Then
Your soft
Warm lips.