To my mom-
I remember that day,
I was so little
The horizon went on forever
when we walked down a sidewalk
to the nearby cemetery. (not a sad place)
With grass crunchy
And a blanket picnic.
I told you about giraffes-
under the hot sun,
in the blouse you had buttoned.
Or that other time-
searching for a new house,
way far up in Maine.
Driving home on the highway
we sang and
there was nothing terrifying to tell.
The lights shone- passing cars-
that world was ignorant (bliss)
I told you simply
How joy felt. That moment.
You smiled.
There’s this dim memory
Water slapping against
The old boat’s hull,
your comfortable song-
the lullaby.
(I sing it,
to myself now
when I can’t sleep.)
We went together-
countless doctor’s appointments.
You held my hand
and wished I was okay-
when I wasn’t
This new you,
I see it every day.
And I hope that some time
I will walk through the door
to a hug and a kiss,
and my mommy will be back.
Because I am all alone
without her here.
And I miss her
more than anything.
You had promised
To set me free.