My heart breaks and it aches. Why can’t you see? I cry and I weep till I fall asleep. You could have saved me. You could have helped. How did you not hear my cry for help? I wanted you to see me. See me for who I was. But instead you look to the surface. The broken, messed up girl covered in scars. Why would you want me anyway, when you have her?  She is perfect and I am nothing. You gave her all of your love, but who can blame you? She is smart, beautiful, and funny. Why can’t I be like her? Why couldn’t I be someone else? Someone else or dead.

The raised skin of the scars on her wrist catches your eye. You say that you’re sad for her. But how can you be? All you do is make fun of her. You have your entire life. Followed her with insults and hurt. Suddenly you’re sorry? After making her feel like a freak all of her life? After telling her to **** herself? Now that she is taking your advice you’re sorry? How can you be sorry of your own work? Admire you’re work, dear friend. Admire your sick work.

Death. It’s a romantic idea, really. Quiet and mysterious. An escape. A way out. A perfect vision. Dark, yet so light. Cold, yet so warming. Gone, yet still there. Sad, yet happy. Death is an amazing dream. A simple dream really. It helps people. It brings people to remember not to take life for granted. It brings people together. Yet, it tears people apart. Because, everybody always wants someone to blame besides themselves. Or they want the attention of saying it was all their fault that they weren’t there when they should have been. It kills me.

Fear strikes her heart as he steps closer. Nearer with the wicked smile on his face. The evil man who said he loved her. The evil man whom she once trusted. The evil man she never knew was evil. He talked in a soft voice, as if he was afraid for her to be scared. Like he didn’t know what he was doing was wrong. But it was. It left bruises all over her pale skin, making it a black-blue-yellow-purple color and left scars on her body. But it also left scars in her heart. She loved this person so much and just couldn’t understand how this person had become someone she didn’t want to meet. How he had become so mean. How he could hurt her so bad. Why would he hurt her if he loved her as much as he said he did? He lied a lot. To cover up what he did to her. He would talk her down and make her feel so low. Made her feel like she deserved what he was doing to her. Like she didn’t deserve any better. Like she was no better than the dirt he walked on. It wasn’t fair, what he did to her so many times, just to get away with it over and over again. It wasn’t fair that when she tried to tell someone that they thought she was lying and seeking attention. It all just wasn’t fair that life was in favor of the evil man.

She cries at night so no one can see. She bleeds in the dark to hide from her friends and family. She screams in silence so no one can hear. She covers her eyes so she can't see her fears. Her fears of being alone. Her fears of not being accepted at home. Her fears of being played a fool. Her fears of being an outcast at school. Her fears of changing in gym with all the other girls. And her fears of all of this big bad world.

You love her, not me. But why would you ever want me? I'm crazy, anyone could see. I try and cover my scars, but there are too many to hide. And you can see it in my tear filled eyes. I'm that crazy girl no one loves. Seeking attention, that's all I'm doing. But what's sad is that, if i suceed, you'll instantly love me.

The tear falls from her eye and creates a stream down her pale face and it glistens as she looks out the window. But she isn't looking outside. She is looking beyond all of that. Looking to the distance. Looking to see where the happiness had gone, and wondering why it didn't take her with it. Wondering why the sadness stayed. Why it didn't just leave. Go where the happiness had gone and send the happy back to her. Her heart thudded in her chest and she pulled her knees up. She put her head down and tears swelled in her eyes. "Why won't the saddness go away?" She whispered, but the wind swept her words away to where the happiness lay.