Katelyn Renita Gardner: Poems

752 · Feb 2014

Katelyn Renita Gardner Feb 2014

I'm called a lot of names
But the name I go by the most is Renita
Its my middle name but its the other me
My second life hidden behind my first name
Renita will always be my actual name
For my depressed,Unhappy,crushed,hurt self
My first is like my beautiful lie
Katelyn might be bubbly and happy
But check behind her and you'll find Renita

"Do you really know how much pain can be in one person,one girl,one me"

726 · Feb 2014

Unloved,Darkness,Hurt

Katelyn Renita Gardner Feb 2014

Unloved,Darkness,Hurt

Love
Darkness
Hurt
Can you imagine the one you love in your arms but then...he just let go
He lets you fall
In the dark
then leaves you to get hurt
to stay in the pile of the unwanted
So you could have the bruises,cuts and burns on your arms
So you can see them everyday
So you could be the one to bleed
The one to not last
To leave you in the dark
To let you get hurt
He said he loved you
He said he wanted you
It was a lie you fell for
And now
You're falling into the darkness
You're going to get hurt
You aren't going to be loved
...I'm...not...
Unloved
Darkness
Hurt

555 · Feb 2014

Closer

Katelyn Renita Gardner Feb 2014

Closer

On the moonlit shore
Calm
Peaceful
Together
Walking through the breezy night air
As the wind surrounds us and pushes me to move closer to you
Closer
Closer
Until we come to a stop and with a soft gentle touch on my cheek from your fingertips
To stare straight into my eyes
Give a little smile
Then to just...kiss
Absorbing every feeling inside as it's just us
The feeling
The pleasure
To feel closer
Two hands touch
Then clasp together and stand as one
Every touch that is made
On my lips
My neck
Hair
Body
Makes me feel closer
Let's be closer

301 · Feb 2014

Lonely

Katelyn Renita Gardner Feb 2014

Lonely

I feel lonely
Sad inside
I stay in my room where it's quiet
Calm
I don't have to deal with anything
I have friends and people who care about me
But it's like I'm still not happy
I've fell in love with others before
But I end up getting hurt in some way
It scares the hell out of me to get feelings for someone
To just fall and crumble again
It's like a routine I go through when I fall for someone
What if I just let the darkness take over I tried to control it
But...
Maybe it's time I just let it happen It'll probably be better anyway I usually end up adopting and the one that I have in my hands leave
I attach myself to curtain people and the ones I've attached myself to end up not being around me anymore
So I continue to feel
Hurt
Lonely
Frustrated
I just wish my life would get better already

237 · Feb 2014

Help

Katelyn Renita Gardner Feb 2014

Help

I want to be free
Free from pain
The unpleasant feelings I get everyday
Sadness
Broken hearts
People who say they care but don't care
The people who don't understand
I want to be free from thoughts
I don't want to think about how I'm hurting so much inside
How I constantly sit in a dark room trying to make myself happy or to bring myself pleasure out of sadness
Planing and plotting against myself to commit suicide
Hiding because I'm scared of everything
Crying to myself will always be a thing for me
Being happy so no one can see the inside
I'm angry
Broken hearted
Depressed
Upset
I want an answer to know if I'm going to be okay
Because right now I'm crying
And I'm so confused
I just want someone to save me already

— The End —