The last thing I want to become,
What I've made my self out to be.

You mean more to me than that,
I should mean more to you

My hearts been battered and bruised
Worked up, turned out and used

Analyze, nag, doubt, blame
Emotions to balance needs vs shame

I build you up
To tear you down

I have to remember,
You're not who I thought or want  you to be,
You're who I've always known you to be.

The simple smile, warmth and unreserved candor

Are the things I love most that you bring out in me,

As I see those same things  reflected in you from the presence of me.

Bite my lip, clench my fist.
Play with my hair, pull and twist.
Squirm and squeal at the thought of you.
Your touch, your feel.
Clench my neck, trace my collarbone
A heaving in my chest,  are these thoughts mine alone?
Stomach turning, a sigh  then, better still, a moan.
My thoughts are lost in a world infused with you.
Mental processes face rapid collapse.
You stifle my ethic, I'm useless now.
Until the next I see you, and bring you past the limits you allow.

Now, your squirm and your squeal
Caused by my touch, my feel
are the only remedy
to this burden of lust
you have created in me.

Blinded by the brightness of the distant horizon. Too bright to take, scared I might break.
Frozen in space, locked in this state
Of want vs need, torn til I bleed
my mental capacity lacks
stamina to feed the desire required for this track. Is that where I'm at? midway from was to will be? stuck in a never ending am, the perpetual dawn of a new day with the same story. I break here. I find my future in celebrating the strength of my present and building upon it to develop a launch pad capable of propelling me as far into the universe as I wish to be. My weakness is my strength. I embrace my momentum. I am my will be.

At moments, I'm overcome and in awe of my depth of feeling for you.

A simultaneous expansion and contraction draws upon my chest.

Inhale: your presence floods me, most vivid of memories.

Exhale: snap back to reality.

Inhale: the cycle repeats.

Why hello Oregon, my dear old friend... I know it's been a while since we last touched base, but that all changes today... I'm absorbing all things about you... The feel of your cool soil on my bare feet, the roughness of your bark as I swing from your oldgrowth arms and glide into a crystal clear pool at the base of one of your majestic snowcapped peaks.. I am bursting with the anticipation of ending the day drunk on your honey sun shine and high off of your cologne of wild lavender, fresh water and ancient pines.. Momentarily, I am perfectly content to relax in your soothing cooling shade and listen to the harmony of your whisperig breezes,  humming birds, buzz of the bumble bees, and the trickle of your cool bubbling brook... No, I am no poet, just a natural born pacific northwesterner.. Can I help it if the raw beauty of my surroundings drives and inspires me occasionally?

Varying degrees of sobriety
Unleash the ebb and flow of my emotions

Burning liquid
Turned love potion

My once firm reserve
Begins to bend and curve

As the tonic trickles down my throat
Melting into a burning sensation in my gut

I tingle.
I feel so intensely.

Touch me.
I can show you how.

My words are unchecked.
I crave you now.

Grasp me,
Pulling me into a rough, carnal embrace,
Reveal your desire.

My body moves and sways to a rhythm only you produce,
No other hears it quite like I do.

Your gravity draws my inner divinity out,
Slow, raw, pure, woman.

Like honey from the comb,
I'm exposed,
Waiting for you to consume me.

The fire builds,
As each movement delivers new sensations.

I'm wholly lost,
Guided only by your body.
Don't ever stop.

I feel your need to consume me completely,
I relinquish control with a shiver and a moan.

And finally,
You're overcome with me.

Wise words
Well unheard

Lost
On a heart
Heavy with hope
Hollowed by sorrow

A friends warning
Well made
Too late

The blade is unsheathed
The soul blind with longing
Caught in the crosshairs
Of desire and denial

Sense

Quit trying.

You knock down all my defenses
Leave me breathless, senseless.

What this is to you,
It is more to me.

Held tight in your embrace,
I'm at my most free.

A security like I've never known,
Still never will.

A physical unity
To release my individuality.

There is something about you that I cannot define

I feel unsafe, insecure and blind.
In all the right ways.

As  my eyes close, they open upon your face.

How do I find myself in this place?

The greatest shelter has become your embrace,

A mirage on the coldest tundra of your silence.

I was unaware of my wanderings into  these multifaceted feelings for you
Distracted by life, i was oblivious to the warning signs
I kept all others at bay behind my fortress
As learned by the Trojans of olde, you crept in under disguise
Would that I had  been more wise?

and all at once I have been consumed.

As it were, I love you.

I wander as I wonder
In mind, soul and body

A step forward brings a new perspective;
A progressive stance based in realities purely reflective.

A fine line to mind;
A high rope to balance upon.

I want you,
But am scared to have you.

Act or react,
Direct or follow,
Participant or bystander.

Must I bridge the two?

Wine me,
No need to dine me.
Yes I'm a lush,
But that doesn't mean I like to rush.
Sip and savor
Til I know every flavor
Feel a slow burn
My stomach starts to turn
For your caress I yearn

But I still need more time
Cause this wine is **** fine
It's time to aerate
Oxygen flow in

Half crazy, half refined
That's a working girl while she's on her grind
Her love too, is quite unique
So you yearned for a peak
Longed and pined
Dined and wined
Just to end so abrupt
Eat you up then spit you out
Cause you tell her lies,
While you look into her eyes.
Then your realize
she's where she's at
Cause she bought stock in wisdom, broke the bank with wise.
In the school of life,
She met every strife,  aced every course
Graduated with honors and a PhD
In Grown Lady Business
Certified to tell fiction from fact
Truth from an act
So stop your mack,
Take a step back
Dr. Lady, you see, is better than all that.

Letter to phrase,
Poetry from prose.

My hand guides my pen on a journey
Only my mind knows.

A silent lament,
Louder still than the spoken word.

A happiness depicted,
A moment glorified for all time.

Why do I care
When you're not there
Why do I care
When you don't answer

Happiness with you comes in ways I never imagined before

Hurt ripples down to a depth I never knew I possessed.

Blown to smithereens,
Lost in oblivion.

I’m in love with the man,
This I feel.

My body is caught in a constant tug-of-war
Between mind and soul

I live above him now
Because he’s lifted me up

Planes are constructs, mental limitations
Confines built to be broken

He will be where I’m at
I will remain here still, waiting

Reason and logic eludes me,
Soul conquer mind.

I’m in love with the man,
This I know.