She was the rain
You didn't realize how broken ***** your desert was
Until she taught you what showers felt like
This desert was never hot
Until you felt the shivers only she could make
Feeling moisture residue on waiting lips
She made you touch
Touch the down pour you never knew you wanted
She was the rain
When everything before her was dry
She was the rain
When eberything before her was parched
Never had you felt this feeling
Her kiss quenched
While you use to leave thirsty
Her rain was undenyable
But even the rain leaves clothes soaked
And bones chattering
Even the rain leaves you shivering

I've been running around all year
Cramming star dust into my veins
Shoveling secrets into my lips
Filling myself with the gases of our generarion
Gas occupies space but holds no weight
Gas expands to fit any container
Gas fills you up
can't figure out why you lay awake at night
Never feeling more empty
Feeding a tredmill cycled craving

You are not a car
Stop trying to run on gas

I will never be one to kick old habits
Never one to place cupboard locks on my demon trials
Who would be left to whisper me sweet nothings from my closet ?
Releasing my marks, tying up old ribboned loose ends
Its a lonely life, one free of tarnish
polished and clean
but no one to speak with

Ive never confided a secret I didn't wish to be shared
Holding close to the lackluster idle angst of our peers
Its impossible not to become over aware of looks through the eyes of a stranger
Keeping faith in a world of broken children
Holding god among my discrepancies
I found a truth to sink my teeth in
I've never confided a secret I didn't already know the answer to
Learning sovereign standards in a lesdon taught by sinners

Its been 8 days since I last threw myself into a breath
Ripping apart my lungs, only to throw them back together
Over and over again
Sipping cool silence on my tongue
Letting it saunter into my chest
Filling a hole you can't vouch for in a colored creation
Selling my teeth to pay for a smile
Sewing my lips on the christmas tree, to remember holiday cheer
Violent wakes of silent water
Drowning my lackluster advances
Its been 8 days since I last threw myself into a breath
Punching holes in my ribcage
Stuffing them shut for the winter

I love how ugly you looked under direct light
The way your gnarled grappling hooks for hands sink in the tide
Your features twist in trepidation
No beauty left in your hallow sunken cheekbones
Your eyes red from fatigue
You are not beautiful
I'm sorry I never tried to save you

Watching you fall is starting to be too much
I'm sorry

I've sat at this table before
Scribbling notes on your face
    D
      E
         E
            P
Into this piece of wood
Scaring the surface
To fragment its sight
Until its unrecognizable
By anyone. Except me.

I've gorged my insides outside
Stuffed them full of tryptophan and solidarity in this plague
Dripped acid on my laced lungs
To hold some type of shape to their lackluster position
Stitch my teeth on paper airplanes
Promise your little girl you'll send her to the moon
The sky
The stars
The dentist to fix her broken teeth
To tape kisses on her open wounds
It was never enough to wake me when you left
Because I was right
And we were all falling down
As our youth was shot up
Fill my bones with your time, let these clocks rip my eyelids off
So all I can see is you walking away
Wearing my last love letter on your palms
Go, fly, be on the moon
I'll meet you there in a few

I tore my palms on floors painted in tiles
Tea time above my throat
Kiss my ears, until I cry high noon
Welcome to the middle of the week

Oh dear god
Please let this pillow vanquish my sins
Set fire to my troubles
Let me fall under

I've always felt a strong pulling towards the earth in my palms
Something beautiful about dirt filling the cracks left gaping
Band aid measure of a tired fault
The sun burns holes in my paper skin
Leaving behind a ransome note for my spite
Little days find longer months
Bringing telephone heartbreak to the girl made of angles
She pulls the mud over her eyes
Bringing warmth to a time of no sunshine
No time to sit, she sleeps under her old grave

I've built these four walls
Palms bloodied in a titanium sentiment
Teeth broken under bottle necked business
The scars draw pictures of the stars
Plastered tears on the wall and called it paint
Leave your scewed values at the door
We can wipe our feet on the hipocrisy and call it a welcome mat
Welcome home darling

These four walls can hold more than your last sip
Structure built from our bridges off of last years ledge
No chance for broken peices to carve our faces on in the night
Welcome home darling

Let's write a book together
Stitch outselves up right in between a Sunday morning and a wispered connection
Bind our thoughts and words together
Keep them tough in leach blank ink
We'll put ourselves on coffee tables, for others to read
Laugh jolly fables at our friends
Because when we kissed, we wrote the sweetest poetry

Weren't we just the most beautifully ****** up creatures?
Living under the impressing of distopian reality
Kissing necks & sleeping in the stars
The care of no real tangible fault with the lust of a child
Impulse and rage, sat like birds on our tongues
Leaning in to wisper secrets of a secret society
One we had built through tiers on ocean front properties
No language of change, filled with a brief affair
Living on this off topic planet
A non sequitur palace in our dreams
Weren't we just the most beautifully ****** up creatures?
I wouldnt give a minute of it up for the world

I just wanted you to know im not sorry I kissed you
I wouldn't trade your lips for a softer secret
One that fit nicely in my pocket, one that didn't hold such weight
It didn't hurt me when I watched you leave
I've built bridges to stop this water from rushing over my head
Time and time again
Never did I paint us together in the suburbs, with a dog, baby or a white picket fence
That picture was tucked in my pocket long ago, right by my kiss
I just wanted you to know I'm not sorry I kissed you
I don't tie strings to boys mouths and call them balloons
I've lost too many pictures like that
Call them friends and kiss them softly
It makes the days go faster, and the smiles run thin
It makes the tea boil for me alone
This bed is home for my bones only
The bridges, balloons and pictures fold up softly in my pocket
I just wanted you to know I'm not sorry I kissed you

I sat down at a grave once
Legs folded on soiled knees
Ground parted ways for sunlight interrogation
        How did you fall?
            All the loose ends you left..
                Too much
Grass blades run sharp on hollow fingertips
Bite back at rhetorical questions
Traced the marble up and over
   Again
     And again
Took the letters under my palm
Through my skin
           Why did you cut off all your ties?
                  Allow yourself to fall off into another orbit
                       It was all too much
The valley forms where you left off
The last sentence on your page is tattooed on my forarm
Your birthday comes around like a carousel I can't get off of
Year after year I toast a drink to you
          Like you never did for me
I sat at a grave once
Legs folded on soiled knees
                     *Happy birthday Mom

She gave this Earth everything she had
       Poured her heart
                               Her validation
                                          Her lusting touch
She gave the Earth her all
Toes touching deep within the soil
Bunion roots pulled in the dirt
Head tilted up to the skies
she gave this Earth everything she had
          Stole his heart
                              His validation
                                      Exchanged for lusting touches
She enveloped the tree blanket forest fur around her
Let it seep in, till there was no difference in the ocean and her blood
Found strength in a dying population
                              found her life
Took it all down with her rise
This Earth was everything she had
*This Earth was everything she was

Take the simple words
Whos letters sing simple pleasures
Float a honey comb tooth over their hair
Rest delicate moon glow on curved shoulders
Let's them sing
High and clear and true to sight
Take a small word, and give it weight with your meaning
Four letters
Can pull you to your knees or raise you to the heavens
Its not the time but the place
Take a simple word, and give it your heart
Let it ring true and holy and pure

Let not the word hold the power, but instead only the fuel you push through its belly

I built this house
Stones rolled from wayward roads
Taken trees above rooted tides
Windows varnished gold
Lillies planted in rows of 8
4 red 4 yellow
Sunlight painted from troubled beams
Concrete base, loft skies
I built this house
To form our home

I love the sun
I love the sky
I love the painfully brittle interactions they colvulse
Giving birth to baby blue vile regurgitation
Shaking as forced combat off a sunbeam soliloqy
Sweaty kisses in tainted air
Selling their souls to intoxicated vices of the night
Resting cheeks on the chest of an enemy
Letting your breath catch your fevered heaves
Because sometimes you have to let things mix

1228
1228
I've drawn your face 1228 times
3 years, 4 months and 11 days I drew your face
Memorizing the shadows and highlights
I could point out your freckles in the stars
Recognize your dimples behind an ocean
Hugging graphite to paper, I can still feel the weight of your hold
Pencile to parchment, I can still touch the warmth of your palms
Two eyes fall just underneath the top half of your face
Lips curled the same way everytime
Staring back at me is an exact copy of someone I remember
No longer can I hear the voice, wispering sweet nothings in my ear
I've memorized your lines
To draw you away, to draw you out
I've drawn your face 1228 times
But no longer can I remember why
When rhythm has no reason, it becomes wrong
Insanity is doing something over and over, each time expecting a different outcome
1228
Under a portrait of a million memories, all depth is lost
Time has passed, you've let go
With each day, I recognize you less and less from the pictures I scratch
Insanity is doing something over and over, each time expecting a different outcome
No clarity behind dated portraits
1228

**1

I tried
I crashed
You tried
We laughed

Love is not blind
Its the eyes who know before the words come second
Its the light before the telling
Love is sight
Love when you see someone so deeply, so completely, but you still stick around, because you love

Breathe winter winds through burning lungs
Smile at the sun
Look tirelessly at the moon
Inhale the sweet pine floors
Crossed legs protecting your ties
Stay zen in the crossfire
Remember your morals in a steep debate

I've never been one to confess my trials to girls who listen
Curiosity runs parallel strings with caring
Prying and pulling with manicured fingers
They wisper a soothing lullaby to coax the girl with fire closer
Kiss the floor to highten their grounds
Lift the lashes off your cheek
Keep the talk for eyes who hope

I* want the world to wisper my name
I want simple smiles, kind eyes
Only you and your sweet time
Red painted swing, to and fro
Line your table with books and know
Lips closed, breaks to breath me in

*I want you to know me

Kiss the twisted girls
Who's exposure brings lights to reason
Lips parted speaking praises of trial
Collar bones tripped with anticipation
Wrap your arms around their waist
With futile legions
Kiss the girls who's eyes refract the sky
Simple falling pose
They're the ones with the most tempting secrets

Write a poem
String words and letters together
Let them form chains to perch on your collar bone

Write a poem
To sing to the world
To articulate your fevers, your falls

Write a poem
Give heart to a memory
So they can hear what you saw

Write a poem for me

Pragmatic solutions to single minded topics
Winded trepidation too close to home
Storm forcast high shadows on winded plains
Fly high in white silk dripped moss

Stay below the cost line
Drip wet with anticipation

Home bodied depression text book models
Lovely

Silky smiled girls
With cups tipped off of saturdays doubts
Validating infidelity for a firm grasp
Graffiti sideways winks
Your only as remarkable as your last debute
Born again to a word offering baptisms in svedka
Your vices tattood on a list of hymns
Find solice in no mans company
Bring faith on your knees to a boy who can't speak his name
Your body is a temple with access through insecurity
Bless me father it has been two drinks since my last confession
Silky smiled girls
Make no home for validation in weekend crimes

It starts off like a rock flying towards you
No algorithm to predict the speed, to predict the flight
No calculations to be made as you stand dumbfounded
You recognize the impending impact
Brace your muscles
Only hoping it doesn't sting too terribly
That the bruises ware off cleanly

With pens and ink
You scratch a surface with aching fright
torn papers show no signs of the words promised to be revealed in good time

You see ballpoint blood in your veins
Teasing seductive stares, broken by papered fragile skin
Grabbing for a pen you cry out as it bites back in the palm of your hand

Muscles tense
Awaiting impact

We've invented a million ways to tell a story

Adjectives and synonyms to value our thoughts

Little saucer eyed dolls use happy sad pretty ugly
Our sculls thicken around swollen brain links
We develop lingo and secret codes to dance around the truth
Inventions of complication
Syndication on an over developed dialect
Our words grow longer
As our recolection of the very idea we hoped to convey becomes skewed
Muddled in adjectives
Convoluted in rhymes
Twisted in talk
We forget our own simple thoughts

Our roots are buried underneath a blanket shadow

Thesaurus nation

Its a troubled impossible to try not to be in love
Its comes in cups and kisses
Bites and dishes
Love that swims through your ears, under your skin
Love that dances on your toes, pausing on the crook of your neck
Love that wonders about you when it goes to bed at night
It doesn't have to be a crooked smile in a book shop
Or the soft glances of the girl in your math class
Its the fire wood stacked with snow playfully draped
Old sneakers with laces brilliantly dulled
Bitter sweet chocolate on a curled tongue
It slips around you
It has no name, or age or sexuality
No background story
Nothing other than the moment you've invented right then and there
Its the love around you in your wool socks and your broken spine book
Love that eases your mind
Love that turns the tides of your thighs
It has no trouble with commitment
It has no accusations rooted in insecurity
Its the love in the way your sweater pulls around you
The way the sun kisses your cheeks
The way the wind burns your ears in the most pleasently burning way
The way your breath moves from your lips in winter frost

A love story for the ages

Petri dish children run with punctured neon green veins
Raised in focus groups with the touch of a hungry CEO
Who will sell your youth for another car to drive
Built from the dust of a baby boomer cabbage patch
Poked and prodded by the media of a society flamed with consumerism
Where your loosely draped skeleton frame has no more weight than the quarters you tuck in your pockets at weigh ins
Sunken eyes and sideways grins
Little girls are growing up to kiss the bad boys
Tequila soaked, beautiful kisses
Where your idol is a crack ***** beauty queen
Where your every fatal flaw has a rememdy and a price tag
A generation sick with drinks
Plagued by impulse and energy pulsing in tides
With ****** laughs and magnetic orbits
What ever happened to the petri dish children
Built for beauty and style, but left broken and stunning

Long after your kisses left my collar bone
I could feel the pressure of your weight on my frame
The fingers on my thigh
Holding the scriptures of my femaninity
Reading my words with careless fumbling touch
Your breath caught in between the lips that search my own
Fingers on my waist
No time to bring the gods apon us now
Mortals on a seperate plane
Heavy breathing
Ask your nondenominational god for no baby conceiving

Built from a picture above your bed, grown through tender kisses and late night cereal
When the first older man gave her too long of a weighty look on the street
You know
You knew she was beautiful
The kind of beauty a fathers keeps to himself
Ever proud, but ever silent
When the beauty slips through the cracks in your fingers
She's born again
To the fathers of girls who don't listen:
Do not shake in anger when she first comes home smelling of alcohol
Do not look so hurt when she kisses the lips of a boy she met in the hour
Listen carefully when she explains why she lied to you
Hold her hand when her fingers have sorry calluses
Pour her a glass of water when she gasps for breath between sobs
Stay brave, even when your heart is hurting for her. She can supply more than enough of the hurt by herself
To the fathers of girls who don't listen:
Even
If
Its
The
Last
Thing
You
Want
To
Do

Listen
Grab a snack, watch old Seinfeld reruns
And listen

If you're the kind of girl that boys want to shout smiles at on the street
Nod politely and return an upwards glancs
Don't release the keys because his words wraped you up in a poem
A haiku, a hymn, a wispered promise
Do not confuse a welcome back from heaven touch
For a foreign enemy of your hemline
Take his compliment and move on
You are not a treasure
Not his treasure
You're a pretty ashtray to someone who lost his sanctity 6 blocks back

When you run, with feet following army like commands
Strong flight through wispered haven, you stand untouchable
Its the moments when you stop
When you breath. Exhale.
Its the moments when youre stuck between an impulse and a drag
The cracks widen and you don't even realize you're falling
The pull you in to a place beyond rescue
Face first fury
Wide eyed you can't remember what moment what decision what happened to bring you to this place
No blond girl with eyes of gloried youth tells herself this is what she's going to end up like
Nobody would wish it upon themselves or anyone else
The cracks widen and you tear the pages of a book written with ink you taste through your blood. You gasp for air and the exhale gets stolen
Taken with red finger tips, another reminder, and placed on your door
Remember the weakness
Remember how you swore this was the last time
Take your breath back
Cry inky tears as you bring it down under your skin
Its yours again but its alien and foreign and you cry until the ink bleeds wine
You had youth on your side and desperation in your veins
No rehabs cures breathlessness
That's the goal after all this time
Bring back the blond haired girl with a sharp nose and a crave for sharp love

Tightly bound blunt balances between blankets of pink flesh
Breath in pragmatic poise with love laced eyelettes
Feel the smoke fill you up and lift you away towards higher skies
Pragmatic practices
Its the only way to go
Fill the belly up with herbs of escape
Lick end to end
Practice your cursive, delicate tongue touches
Roll it with fingers trembling in trepidation
Lift beyond the sky
Fly
Pragmatic practices

I kiss girls under side hallway lights
I kiss girls who make me swear not to tell
I kiss girls who kiss boys
"Its not you....... I just can't have anyone know"
I kiss girls who cheer in short skirts for boys on teams
"Its the stigma that comes along with this that I'm scared of"
"God you're pretty when you're silent"
I kiss girls who date the quarterback
I kiss your girlfriend
I do it because she smells like a secret
I do it because her lips taste like the sky
I do it for the stigma
**** the stigma

Possible side effects may include
Dizziness
Nausea
Loss of appetite
Possible side effects may include your intestines slipping out, wrapping cold coils around your neck, kissing your purple eyelids, and begging you to jump

Possible side effects may include your lungs crying bible hymns with razor tongue accuracy through muted chokes

Possible side effects include finger nails scratching piano ivory on a Sunday service

Do not repent your sins to a church that gave you this bottle
They prescribed you a god and you swallow his followings again and again
Just like youre told
Doctor dosages of high mortality

Side effects may include atheism

Muddy waters with her sediment over coat
Paint the sky in her freckles
And carve your name on her heart
Tie red ribbons over her eyes, call her a doll
Listen for a break
A pause to slip through
These are the moments I loved her the most
When the words are unsaid
And you reach a new time
Let the silence carry you under
Let the mud settle over your eyes
Till the light fades in and out
And you see the diamonds through her sky

Narrow minded girls see red palms and twisted teeth
They wiggle their fingers through the bars
To touch
To hold
To grace a finger by
You're the exposé they could never quite pin down
They see a tear and call it your river masterpeice
"She's unique"
"Look how she walks with stride pulled underneath winding gravity"
"Its a political statement"
"See the juxtaposition of her eyes and ears"
"I want this over my mantel"
To touch
To hold
To grace a finger by
Narrow minded girls will wrap a frame around your sunken shoulders and call you art
They will pin holes in each palm
Call you an exibit
Exposé
To touch
To hold
To grace a finger by
Were you ever even invited?

Upper right corner
                                                                         Name scripted through steady paced motion
Blue development keeping her hand on track
Pulse line flat, steady paced motion
To articulate is to pull from within, to reach down and put names on your demons
Hello my name is "tired and weak"
Hello my name is "he only calls when he drinks"
Hello my name is "I smoke a habit my finances can't keep afloat"
Hello my name is "give me your aproval, but dont look for too long, it scares me"
Hello my name is "Sunday afternoon listening"
                                                                      Name scripted through steady paced motion
To articulate is to recognize, to acknowledge the closet door shut with bitten lip smile
Pulse line flat, steady paced motion