I just wanted you to know im not sorry I kissed you
I wouldn't trade your lips for a softer secret
One that fit nicely in my pocket, one that didn't hold such weight
It didn't hurt me when I watched you leave
I've built bridges to stop this water from rushing over my head
Time and time again
Never did I paint us together in the suburbs, with a dog, baby or a white picket fence
That picture was tucked in my pocket long ago, right by my kiss
I just wanted you to know I'm not sorry I kissed you
I don't tie strings to boys mouths and call them balloons
I've lost too many pictures like that
Call them friends and kiss them softly
It makes the days go faster, and the smiles run thin
It makes the tea boil for me alone
This bed is home for my bones only
The bridges, balloons and pictures fold up softly in my pocket
I just wanted you to know I'm not sorry I kissed you

I sat down at a grave once
Legs folded on soiled knees
Ground parted ways for sunlight interrogation
        How did you fall?
            All the loose ends you left..
                Too much
Grass blades run sharp on hollow fingertips
Bite back at rhetorical questions
Traced the marble up and over
   Again
     And again
Took the letters under my palm
Through my skin
           Why did you cut off all your ties?
                  Allow yourself to fall off into another orbit
                       It was all too much
The valley forms where you left off
The last sentence on your page is tattooed on my forarm
Your birthday comes around like a carousel I can't get off of
Year after year I toast a drink to you
          Like you never did for me
I sat at a grave once
Legs folded on soiled knees
                     *Happy birthday Mom

She gave this Earth everything she had
       Poured her heart
                               Her validation
                                          Her lusting touch
She gave the Earth her all
Toes touching deep within the soil
Bunion roots pulled in the dirt
Head tilted up to the skies
she gave this Earth everything she had
          Stole his heart
                              His validation
                                      Exchanged for lusting touches
She enveloped the tree blanket forest fur around her
Let it seep in, till there was no difference in the ocean and her blood
Found strength in a dying population
                              found her life
Took it all down with her rise
This Earth was everything she had
*This Earth was everything she was

Take the simple words
Whos letters sing simple pleasures
Float a honey comb tooth over their hair
Rest delicate moon glow on curved shoulders
Let's them sing
High and clear and true to sight
Take a small word, and give it weight with your meaning
Four letters
Can pull you to your knees or raise you to the heavens
Its not the time but the place
Take a simple word, and give it your heart
Let it ring true and holy and pure

Let not the word hold the power, but instead only the fuel you push through its belly

I built this house
Stones rolled from wayward roads
Taken trees above rooted tides
Windows varnished gold
Lillies planted in rows of 8
4 red 4 yellow
Sunlight painted from troubled beams
Concrete base, loft skies
I built this house
To form our home

I love the sun
I love the sky
I love the painfully brittle interactions they colvulse
Giving birth to baby blue vile regurgitation
Shaking as forced combat off a sunbeam soliloqy
Sweaty kisses in tainted air
Selling their souls to intoxicated vices of the night
Resting cheeks on the chest of an enemy
Letting your breath catch your fevered heaves
Because sometimes you have to let things mix

1228
1228
I've drawn your face 1228 times
3 years, 4 months and 11 days I drew your face
Memorizing the shadows and highlights
I could point out your freckles in the stars
Recognize your dimples behind an ocean
Hugging graphite to paper, I can still feel the weight of your hold
Pencile to parchment, I can still touch the warmth of your palms
Two eyes fall just underneath the top half of your face
Lips curled the same way everytime
Staring back at me is an exact copy of someone I remember
No longer can I hear the voice, wispering sweet nothings in my ear
I've memorized your lines
To draw you away, to draw you out
I've drawn your face 1228 times
But no longer can I remember why
When rhythm has no reason, it becomes wrong
Insanity is doing something over and over, each time expecting a different outcome
1228
Under a portrait of a million memories, all depth is lost
Time has passed, you've let go
With each day, I recognize you less and less from the pictures I scratch
Insanity is doing something over and over, each time expecting a different outcome
No clarity behind dated portraits
1228

**1