She was the rain
You didn't realize how broken ***** your desert was
Until she taught you what showers felt like
This desert was never hot
Until you felt the shivers only she could make
Feeling moisture residue on waiting lips
She made you touch
Touch the down pour you never knew you wanted
She was the rain
When everything before her was dry
She was the rain
When eberything before her was parched
Never had you felt this feeling
Her kiss quenched
While you use to leave thirsty
Her rain was undenyable
But even the rain leaves clothes soaked
And bones chattering
Even the rain leaves you shivering

I've been running around all year
Cramming star dust into my veins
Shoveling secrets into my lips
Filling myself with the gases of our generarion
Gas occupies space but holds no weight
Gas expands to fit any container
Gas fills you up
can't figure out why you lay awake at night
Never feeling more empty
Feeding a tredmill cycled craving

You are not a car
Stop trying to run on gas

I will never be one to kick old habits
Never one to place cupboard locks on my demon trials
Who would be left to whisper me sweet nothings from my closet ?
Releasing my marks, tying up old ribboned loose ends
Its a lonely life, one free of tarnish
polished and clean
but no one to speak with

Ive never confided a secret I didn't wish to be shared
Holding close to the lackluster idle angst of our peers
Its impossible not to become over aware of looks through the eyes of a stranger
Keeping faith in a world of broken children
Holding god among my discrepancies
I found a truth to sink my teeth in
I've never confided a secret I didn't already know the answer to
Learning sovereign standards in a lesdon taught by sinners

Its been 8 days since I last threw myself into a breath
Ripping apart my lungs, only to throw them back together
Over and over again
Sipping cool silence on my tongue
Letting it saunter into my chest
Filling a hole you can't vouch for in a colored creation
Selling my teeth to pay for a smile
Sewing my lips on the christmas tree, to remember holiday cheer
Violent wakes of silent water
Drowning my lackluster advances
Its been 8 days since I last threw myself into a breath
Punching holes in my ribcage
Stuffing them shut for the winter

I love how ugly you looked under direct light
The way your gnarled grappling hooks for hands sink in the tide
Your features twist in trepidation
No beauty left in your hallow sunken cheekbones
Your eyes red from fatigue
You are not beautiful
I'm sorry I never tried to save you

Watching you fall is starting to be too much
I'm sorry

I've sat at this table before
Scribbling notes on your face
    D
      E
         E
            P
Into this piece of wood
Scaring the surface
To fragment its sight
Until its unrecognizable
By anyone. Except me.