I used to pray to you
Worship your existence
Wish we were together.

Now, I don't care if I see you again or not.
I'm over you
And I'll never want to be with you again.

I'm sick of all the girls
Crooning and whispering your name
In a seduced fashion.
You're old news
So make like a newspaper and
Throw yourself out.

I guess that was rude.

All I want you to know is
I don't need you like that any longer.
I don't really care if we talk again
For you are unnecessary to me.

I don't hate, you, no.
But I really could do without the stress
The hardship
The pain
When someone says your name.

Yes, I do get jealous seeing how obsessed and close to you some others are.
But I'm getting over it.
I've moved onto bigger, better men, let's say.

I'm sorry, but goodbye.

R.
That's who he is.
The little brother of my old idol
Replaced by another.
R. is a beautiful young man with
Soft brown hair
Deep eyes
Kissable lips.
He makes me want to smile, cry, scream, and sing
All at once.
His handsome body and being
Is all too inviting.

K.
That's his secret code name.
If it weren't for his beautiful eyes
His wistful smile
His compassionate being
we'd all call him by his real name.
He's too good to just have a regular name.
He needs a code name.
His chin, with its not quite grown up shape.
His lips, perfectly formed and with just a hint of color.
His voice, lilting but deep.
He's hard to describe
But that's why I truly love him now.

I know we've been through our share of hatred and hell
Turning a simple friendship into a war.
But with this new problem
Sometimes I don't know what will happen.
I gotta keep reminding you, reminding myself
Don't be worried, we'll pull through.

Remember the days of plain old laughter ?
When we were young children of eleven.
It seems so long ago, but it was only two years.
Nowadays, laughter is rare.
Under my breath, I have to say
Don't be worried, we'll pull through.

Okay, that's a lie.
I'm not sure whether we'll make it or not.
I'm really scared.
What's gonna happen when we hit high school ?
All I can say is
Don't be worried, we'll pull through.

...Will we ?

Does anyone know that itch you get when you see someone else
Taking the one you thought was yours ?
That little green bug of jealousy
Crawling around deep down under your skin.
That's how I feel right now.
Seeing those girls sweet talk you
Flirt with you.
It sickens me.
I should be everyone one of those girls.
I should be the one you love.
It's tearing me apart inside to see this.
Forget them.
Remember me.
I was the one who really loved you from the start.

Those girls don't love you !
I love you.
Me, and me alone.
If those girls get any closer to you
I'll tear their pretty little heads off
And crack their precious perfect fingernails.
Burn their expensive clothes with a flamethrower.
Take a staple gun to their high heels and Uggs.
I'd do anything to see you smile
To hear you laugh
To taste your lips.

You don't seem to see me
When those girls are around.
They fill your vision
Leave no room for me.

Do you think that
Since the suspected suicide attempt
I am weird and not to be talked to ?
Well you don't know it but
I wasn't gonna harm myself !
It was just a way that I thought
I could get you to see me.
To understand I'm not one of those girls
With the all pink wardrobe
And no combat boots
And no black
Who can't fend for herself.

Well I guess that was a fail.
I should never have ever uttered the word
"Suicide"
Because it ****** up my whole **** life.
Nowadays you seem to be reserved around me
Always alert for anything wrong.
I appreciate that you care.
But it's not how I need it to be.
I need you to just be chill around me
Not be so cautious.
Please.
Let's fix this.

Now that you've read that
Are you creeped out ?
When I say
"I love you"
I mean that
You are just the one I want to hang out with
To be friends with
To call you mine.
Maybe without getting too serious.
I just want to be known as yours
And you to be known as mine.
You could say it's love
But it's not exactly love.
You get it ?

Gosh
I feel better now
But I need you to be there
For me to feel perfect.
Thank you.

I miss you.
Even though we barely know each other.
We've barely talked.
Just met.
Even though I saw you a week ago.
It was like love at first sight
Perhaps.
To me, at least.
All I know is that
I need you.
Even though the miscommunications that Happened
Caused a lot of stress and worry.
Even though you have two other "wives".
Even though this might seem stalkerish.
Even though I feel left out
When other girls call your name
Then look at me as if I'm a little fly.
I know you'll come through.
I promise to.
Don't forget me.
I'm sorry.

Just leave.
Get.
I don't love you.
I never did.
People may think we're together
But truthfully
I despise your existence.
You disturb me in unexplainable ways.
Go the hell away.