Standing over this coffin
Staring into my eyes
Watching my own corpse

Sit there as it rots away
This is my wake
Tomorrow is my funeral
But not a soul is present
Because technically
I am alive

Have you watched me
Sit in the shadows
In the corners
On the curbs
In the secrets
Of a wretched mind

Have you understood
What I’ve gone through
In those halls
And classrooms
In the chairs
At the desks
Inside my own head

With all those eyes
Beaming at me
Throwing my mind
Onto overdrive
As I feel myself
Collapse inside

They said it was all my fault
They told me to snap under pressure
Forced me to believe,
I was the eternal loser
And they the eternal winners

They chased me on the streets
Screaming how I deserved to die
They chased me in the halls
Burning my every confidence

They encouraged my awful mind
To realize that everything
That I said to myself
In my own head
That it was true on the outside

And the rest of the population
Inside of that building
Just watched as it passed them by
Bystanders in an awful fight
Letting them pick me apart
Pull it away

All those bystanders
Just stood there
Watching and screaming
Go Go Go
To the winning team

And what else did they do
Those bystanders and those winners
They told me another thing too
I was responsible for my own demise
Because the treatment I was facing
By all the surroundings
Was my fault too

They told me to stand my ground
That I could just take it like a big girl
As I could hide inside
They told me not to fight them off
They said they’d go away some day

So why are they still around
Why do they still say the same things
Why do they stalk my every move
Waiting for the wrong one to appear
So they can use it against my fears

They told me I was responsible
For the bullying I had received
They told me I was the failure
Because I stood my ground
They told me the torture would end

And here it is.
As I stand over my corpse
At my unattended wake
For my own mind
But I am alive.

Grapple the impossible
Stand up to face the day
Hiding under covers and blankets
Won’t help to cure the pain

Show them what you’re made of
Even if you’re full of misery
Make them realize
You will survive
No matter how they try to burry you

Greet the day
With no face of shame
And tell yourself
You’ve made it another day

Hands tick to tock
Minutes slip and slide
Time painfully dies
Poisoned off clocks

Faces familiar and new
Enclose caps and gowns
Grouped up in two
Sprinting the home stretch
Turns of tassels
One voice shouts
Before hundreds of caps
Flying off small heads

Tangs of bitter
Smiles of sweet
Here comes goodbye
One journey complete

I see you
Standing there off in the corner
Eyes focused on
A girl standing here

I’m watching you
Glance towards me
And this idle hand
Moving towards me

Shall we dance?

With no music
We still shall move
Around in circles
As the rest of them do

Arms close
Warmth embarks
And slowly we fall

Tomorrow, when I'm gone
Remember my spirit
Go fight the world
Without me

A month from now, when I'm gone
Share my works
Show off all these words
Create a book and display my mind
Without me, there is time

A year from now, when I'm gone
Infuse my voice
To those you don't know
Reflect my beauty
Not my broken life
Without me, the moment shall arrise

And then forget me
Let me go
To live off your own life
Don't dwell on what you
Could have said or done better
Without me, it will go faster

But tomorrow, while I'm here
Remove the invisible noose
Around my neck
Hold me in your arms and
Help me win these mental games
And remind me
Suicide is not the only way

The human mind
Acts as a gun
Reacting violently
As statements
Leave idle mouths
Unagreeable to one's self

Firing out harsh phrases
To amend the unagreed upon
Bullets under idle skin
Missing vital places for life

Leaving holes,
Leaving wounds,
And leaving alone
Barely breathing

Idle people
Sick of gun battles
Take those matters
Into their own hands

And another parent
Burries their child
From the world of
Gun fighting words
In bullying

Embodied with warmth
Tingling smiles
Summertime breezes
And wrapped in arms

Sinking into darkness
Lids closing, slowly
Eyes creating pictures
Sleep comes easy

Dreams of infinite nights
Clocks tick and tock
Minutes fall poisoned

Day threatens to break
Over the horizon
But limits on infinity
Do not exist

Brainwashed into hell
Suffocating with lies
Shoved down this throat

Falsified visions of myself
Firing out of their mouths
Spewing out of my mind

Their creation, my demise

Advertised to all
Unlovable and under-par
Tacked by spears
From words and slurs

Blood escaping every wound
****** scenes don’t come close
To living this life

Once, I wanted to give
Thirteen Reasons Why
And bury myself
While I was totally alive
Six feet under the ground

Once, I tried to step
Out the window, Just
To feel myself fall
Through thin air
Only to smack
On the cement below

Once, I failed to lift
A simple weight
Even an inch
Above my chest
Before it cracked
My collar bone.

Once, I broke
Thought it was ending
Told them to grab
The bullets
Fire at will

And once, I asked a boy
To take my hand
Spin me around for
A short dance

Then, I promised myself
Never turn into
One of those poets
Writing dedications
Again and again to them
Because by the end
They became jokes

Once, I told someone
I never wanted to fall in love
Over and over and over again
Because they said
I'm never going to be good enough

But once, I never said
This was a love poem
Maybe it's an appreciation one
Cause once, I asked you to dance
And for some reason
You decided to say yes

Thanks for that

And for now,
Thanks for everything we've become
Let's take this journey longer
Go for all the risks
Make these memories last

Once, I want to hold on
And never let go.

The land is green,
And the water, blue.
Let us remove the solves,
Beneath sheltered feet.
Trekking through these colors,
Bare-foot.
Lapping waves wash out,
Con-caved imprints of adventure
From feet grazing the sand.

Photographs spark,
An array of mental depictions
With first hand sights.
Flashing activity, inside the mind,
Multiple memories,
Recollected in due time.
Words do not describe,
What a photograph provides
But a photograph does not suffice,
The memories which last a lifetime.

I told myself
Reinforced and believed
That I was not enough
To suit anyones needs

Outside the battle
Not one could recognize
That I was any different
When it came to my insides

Raging, the war fought on
And my mind almost won
At least a good 20 times
Before any break in the fight

Restrained by cement
At the bottom of seas
I struggled to break chains
And find strength
To resurface as me

Few are the ways, to weaken chains
But razors seem enough
Dealing with incurable pain
At least until one day

Sparks flew down
Under this sea
Brittling constraints
And I broke free

Prove me wrong
Explain how love
Can work out for us

Force me to believe
In the hopeless cause
That I call myself

Tickle these fantasies
Of a mysterious perfection
They told me
I would never obtain

And please understand
What you do to my brain
Reversing what I believed was truth.  

And just realize,
I’m the luckiest person, in the world
All because I have you.

I’ve been running for miles and miles
Trying to escape what someone told me
True love looked like
True love felt like
True love was like

And I’ve been running in circles
Around my head
Watching us and every move
We made and word we said

And I’ve been running for days and months
Trying to prove I can live without you
Trying to tell myself to be free
Pushing myself away from who I was
To a person who is better than me

And I’ve been running for miles and miles
Escaping your twisted opinions
Im better than your cunning smile
Better than your words and persuasion

And I’m scraped battered and bruised
From the fight before I began
To run for all these miles
From that last time I saw you.

Now I've tripped along the way
And I’m hurting from all the pain
Dealt by razor blades and
The words kind and vain

And I saw my life flash before my eyes
When I tripped once on the way
Not caused by words of vain
But from something kind
Because compliments come
With a price to pay

Because as I run along these miles
I hear them say the same
They all sound just like you
With your evil ways

And suddenly as I run for miles and miles
They say I’m gorgeous
But all I can do is keep running

Because I’ve been running for miles and miles
To be good enough for someone one day.

I will conquer you.
I will watch and learn and figure you out.
Sometimes it’ll take a while
But I’m going to slam and slam
Put my pencil down
Push you out
From the depths of my minds
The deepest wrinkles in my brain

And then free them into you
When I slam down
The poem will last
The length it wants to last
I’m going to figure you out
Slam poetry
Watch out

Here’s the thing
I’m not pulling away
But I don’t even want to stay
How do you live
How do you die
How do you make your life useful
What am I even going to write

I’ll let you go
Set you free
Pull ideas out from all around me
And when I’m done
I want to have won
Because you’ve judged my face
And what it displays
But you haven’t actually judged me

You go by what you hear.
You let their ideas and lies
Infuse into your mind
And that’s all you want to believe
You think you’re so right
With your opinionated minds
Just because someone told you
This who’s who and what’s what
This is the TRUTH
Of a small town
But really we’re made of a bunch of lies

Slam Poetry
Set me free
Let my horse out of the gate
I’m ready to start this race
Just let me escape.
Right here, right now.

So I’ll put it down
Get it out.
But first, teach me how.

Slam poetry,
Fight off my ways
Say what you want to say.
I’ll conquer you.
One day.
Don’t you wait

I’ll take what words I know
And endue them with life
Reveal my broken mind
From these hands as I write
Have I got a stanza
Am I getting this right?

Slam poetry,
Your mystery surrounds me
And I am here to show you
That I will solve you
Each time I tap this page
With a new idea or word
Or even phrase.

Slam poetry,
Here I am
Greeting you now
Don’t just watch me
Listen as the words come out

What am I saying
How is this going
Why can’t I contain this
There’s something deep inside
And I’m too weak to fight

I’m drowning in myself
******* in water and exhaling air
Slam poetry what is going on
Are you driving me crazy.

Stop avoiding my glance
At every single chance
Look into my eyes
And tell me
I’ve got this one thing
Right

Running from sleep
Fighting its dreary eyes
Passing through all the streets

Sprinting in familiar surroundings
Begging for something to remember
From the days, I swore to forget
In this place some time ago

Screeching winds of comforting voices
Engulf the road populated by corpses
Slowing to a walk, the stairs appear
Welcoming me down

Silently descending,
A bed made for one
Settling six feet under
Sleep comes not as war

Don’t send me to the hospital
I just left without a cure
Don’t feed me the drugs
My over-dosing habits are not pure
Don’t leave me suffering
Alone as you walk past
Just take me to the sea
Where I can float into infinity

Haunting these hallways
I surround friends with joy
Faking my way of life
So no one pulls me outside
Not like I’m filled inside
And it seems I like to criticize
All those girls for being fake.

While I know it’s true,
I can’t be too hypocritical
When I look at myself
As unrealistic projections
Of a happy adolescent

If you couldn’t tell,
Then I must be doing well
As my walls are built higher
And my skin grows a little tighter

I still get sick
Of going back every day
With all the ****** up acts
People commit inside the hellhole
I’m sworn to go to
Until my legal childhood dies

Most days, I’m scared to go back
When the treatment is this bad
And the punches are dealt the same
When the words leave the their mouths
And leave me hanging to on the edge
Suffering with more blood from razors

The past 12 years seem to merge
Into a big blurb of complete crap
I thought by now, we’d grow taller and mature
From the childish **** of the past

They’re still satisfied with producing slurs
Just because I’m not at their ‘perfect stature’
That’s when I wonder what’s going to change
Am I ever going to take a jump away
And find some way to escape
While a month and a half seems so short
Being told you’re a **** up every day
Makes the days a little bit longer

What if I didn’t come back tomorrow
Or all the days after that
What if I said oh ***** it
And left the world in a snap
What will they say, when someone tells them
It was their faults from their words and their actions

And as every day continues
To be another fight for a healthy mental state
I just lay down at night thinking
Sometimes I wish I could die.