And isn't it funny being alone?
I can never tell if it makes me more depressed or less.
I am the least social butterfly.
Who am I kidding.
I have not yet grown wings.
I am just a caterpillar making my way among the brightly colored orangeredyellow leaves.

I hate and love everything.
And everything I love with a fiery passion, I invariably hate with the same fire for making me feel this much.
******* all.

Every person and thing I have loved:
you have all controlled me.
And that thought in itself is terrifying.
Is it-- was it-- supposed to be that scary?
Am I doing all this wrong? Anyone care to take the wheel for a bit?

I am not an adult.
I will become one once I stop writing love poems.

I am the last bird to fly south for the winter.
I am the last insect to hear the sprinkler system go off. So here I am.

Drowning because I was dreaming.

And I will drown in every last tear I shed.
In every sip of red wine.
Every drop of blood I spill.
And every shower I take to sob quietly and in peace.
I will drown in the plethora of emotions I feel.
I will drown in love and in hate.

Lie me down on cold brick to prove to me how stable I can feel.
Float me along a river with your hands pushing up my back to show me there will always be something keeping me breathing.

remind me remind me remind me remind me remind me remind me remind m e for I will convince myself that I've forgotten.

Please let me be
I know that the flaws in me
Are eminent
I know that it makes me into a worse person
But for once in my life please let me be

I'm not trying to put up a front
Not trying to hide from the world
There is a difference between being lonely and alone
And I am stuck in limbo between the two

How can I feel so trapped
Like I'm falling into the dark
A dark that has no one there
A dark with silence
I constantly struggle to escape
I yell for help but no one comes
And then I feel hollow
Nothing but me and my delusions
Please let me be

I stare into a painting of a child
The child is with his mother
Or his grandmother
But with a family nonetheless
I look right into that child's eyes
And I see nothing but the emptiness
That I have
I look deeper to see if I can pull it out and **** it
But I can't
Please let me be

Run away quickly
Little boy before they grab you
Run quick before it is too late
Run into that dark corner over there
They'll never find you there
Stay there be safe
Don't let them find you
Don't ever let them find you
Please let me be

Don't let them find you
Little boy they'll pull you out
And beat you and spit on you
Like they did when they found you last time
So stay in that dark corner
Stay and don't run out
Please let me be

He's a writer for sure
Every ounce of him.
That's why he stopped
Drinking wine,
Except for Wednesdays
Of course.
He has a taste for
Cigarettes and the hard stuff.
The stuff that's going
To make him forget
About all the things
He's going to write about in the morning.
But really,
How could he forget
Every single moment
Of his entire life.
He's not arrogant
But **** the devil if he's humble.
No, he's just used to
Being kicked in the face.
And he's good at it.
So why stop now?
Every morning is a hangover
And every night
Is another reason
To write down everything
Because **** everyone
Who tells him no
He's too **** good at it.
Let's drink to that tonight.

I killed a girl.
She was closer to me than anyone i've ever known.
She knew me better than anyone else.
She knew my deepest fears
My darkest secrets
My every thought
She knew all my quirks and habits
She knew how i spoke and walked and loved
She was my closest friend.
But i hated her more than anyone.
Even though I was her only true friend
The others were traitors and liars.
She had the lowest self esteem
The longest list of problems
The worst personality
I killed this girl
And i liked it.
She was me.
I killed her and replaced her with the me i was supposed to be.
She was condfident and funny
Smart and outgoing
She had the best she could ask for.
She was happy.
Fun and determined
Talented and optimistic
In this sense you see
****** is a good thing
And the best decision I ever made
Was to **** that girl.