I want you to buy us a house on second street.
The one with the bed right there on the porch.
Twinkling lights overhead
Surrounded by a dense garden that definitely doesn't belong in this
***-hole filled, trailer trash neighborhood.
There are at least three cacti growing out front, and the house is so tan
Like it's spent way too much time in the sun.
You can go to work every morning with a cup of fresh coffee in your hand
Wrapped in a lipstick stained note saying
I love you honey
Make some money
I'll be here when you come home.
I can spend my days playing violin to the weeds
Writing love notes to strangers to pay the bills.
Or maybe a few sad songs, depending on the rain.
When you get home I'll have a new poem for you
And we can drink iced tea on the porch
And fall asleep under the stars.

It's about time for me to move away; this was never going to work.
The sun is too hot, the wind is too cold, and
Frankly,
I never had the energy to question the winter.
Bundled up, walking in the dark and watching over my shoulder for demons
I've never seen, but never not known them.
I'd rather let go and sleep on any corner in any town
Letting go of what I never had
Than to lay comfortably in a bed I've never shared.
And I've said never seven times.
Because that's how certain winter is.

I'm getting **** tired of people listening to music
Just as a reason to grab another person
And mumble words like they're meaningless obstacles towards your mouth
Doing other things.
Bump some tunes, play the bass loud, so we might not hear our intellects
High shrieks as they wither away into nothing.
And we don't have to look each other in the face
When we decide to own one another like slavery,
Like hate,
Like every other ist that exists to stop us from seeing each other for who we are
Intellects and children of thought
And of accomplishment. And of brotherhood.
And of progress.
Everyone needs to grow up. See the world for the opportunity it is.
And use words like they're pieces of gold.
Priceless.

Do you remember when we drank coffee together
That one morning? And I was
Writing you a letter, but I stopped when you walked in
So we drank coffee together and laughed.
Then separated.
And that was the last time you and I have laughed together
And I miss your smile. And I miss your laughter.
And I wish there was vanilla coffee cream for this bitter taste
You leave in my mouth and in my mind.
But you just walk away. You want to live alone.
So I think I have to accept somewhere along this road
Dark and lonely and desperate for a streetlight,
That my coffee is too bitter for you.
And while I like my coffee bitter
Because it makes the sweet things, the vanilla and the cinnamon
So much sweeter,
You are looking for a roast that is mellow. That will not
Challenge you. That will not
Test you.
And I can't promise you that.
But you will always be welcome back to me
To drink coffee. Even when you're bitter. Even when you're angry.
And I will make it sweet for you.

If I were to become a cynic.
Which I'm not saying I am,
Nor am I admitting I'm not,
It would be because of the way you smile
In every direction
Until
Your eyes meet mine.
And do I believe in living?
Or science?
If so, then tell me why,
My life starts with your frown
And there's no chemistry to properly and mathematically explain
How my heart could possibly skip a beat
And my lungs could forget how to work
Every time you find yourself
Near me.

If I were an optimist,
Which I'm not saying I am
Nor am I admitting I'm not
It would be during the times I find myself
On my knees praying
That you'll walk by me and stop.
Speak.
Listen.
Love.
And pray with me.

If I were yours,
Which I'm not saying I am
Nor am I admitting I'm not.
I would love you with a love so infinite
Unbreakable, fiesty, loud, passionate, and changing
That you wouldn't be able to breathe.
And if I believed in love, if I felt love was worth the risk,
Would you?
Do I believe in sacrifice?
Do I believe in the weight of the world, Atlas' shoulders, the music in the air?
If I did, how could it possibly explain
This out of breath, tear stained face I have to carry with me
Everywhere I go.

We are lions in cages.
Extroverts anonymous. Facades of hopeful futures.
We        think        differently
Because we are so special
The ball and chain around her ankle is a ten pound book-bag
Portable computer. Portable phone.
Internet. Music. Silence.
Internet. Music. Silence.
Who whips the lions?
The kings and the queens of the jungle.
Are ******.

Hate me.
Like every word I've uttered has cursed your name.
Every laugh has been at your expense.
Every smile a plot against you.
Even before I met you I want you to hate me.
My life has led to you.
And now we're sitting in a room
While you're silently seething, burning
With this awkward attempt at che sera, at live and let live,
At Apathy.
You know how I hate that.
I told you to hate me!
Do so! In the grandest display of passionate fury to be trapped inside of these four walls.
Make your words fly like daggers towards my very life
And blaze and scorch the very skin I use for protection.
Throw me to the wall with a growl in your voice that makes everything inside of me
Tremble.
And I will disappear.
I have patiently waited for your hatred.
Since you first looked into my eyes and told me.
So long as the sun rises and sets I will continue to wait.
So just hate me loudly already.