listening to these songs reminds me me of you
of us, and our broken love
a sad sweet dalliance
that in the end left us both broken hearted and confused.
more me than you i think
and as i am reminded of you.
i miss you,
i miss you so so much.
i'm trying,
i promise i'm trying so hard
to forget.
to forget
the love that i felt for you,
the long phone calls,
the waiting that you put me through,
the hoping,
the courage i wasted on trying to get you to love me back.
but i can't,
i can't forget you.
i don't even think i want to.
but oh do i want to forget us.
i want to forget us so badly
because i hate remembering,
remembering means feeling
and feeling hurts.

i'm not over you yet
but i'm almost there
so don't you come running back to me
with your soft lips silky hair,
telling me that you're ready to try
don't you dare pluck up the courage to tell me,
in that shaky nervous voice of yours
that you love me.
don't you think it's a little to late for that?
you've kept me waiting for war too long now
and you know what?
i've finally watched that movie we were supposed to watch together.
my one last ******* to love.
because because i'm not over you yet
and if you come running back to me
i'm afraid i never will be.

it started with a scratch
and one little pill.
but neither of them worked
as i became more ill.
so i moved onto a blade
and a higher dose of meds.
then i tried to cut and took more pills,
as my attempts to turn out dead.

The hardest thing is to love someone who is afraid to be loved.

All you want is to run to them and hold them.
You want their soft lips on yours,
while you pull them in closer and kiss all the beautiful and broken parts of them.

but they just push you away no matter how hard you try. because when it comes down to it
the questing,
do you love me?
is the most terrifying one to be asked

so they run

but real love doesn't just go away,
so you sun after them and hope that eventually their lungs will long for air and their legs will get heavy with exhaustion.

and you'll be the only one who can give them breath again
and the only one strong enough to hold up their weary body

for now you are caught in an endless chase
not willing to give up
no matter how much love tears us apart
we keep going because in the end it will be worth it.

at least we hope it will.

she was not so much a person anymore as she was a thing.
made up of diagnosis after diagnosis,
telling her all the things that were wrong with her.
she was filled up with pills
that tried to ****
the monsters inside.
and she wanted them to die too.
but theres one little twist
she was the monsters and the monsters were her.
and the fine line
that the doctors tried
to draw
with the pretty little pills and the diagnoses
that still
meant nothing to her
was gone.
and she cried,
she wanted to die
but the doctors just tried
to keep her up with more drugs.
thinking they could fix her with some kind of mixture
of the right ones.
they said "we'll find the right ones".
but she was long gone,
no longer trying to hold on or "stay strong".
but they wouldn't let her go.
she was in a and out of an institution
that thought they had the solution.
that thought they could fix her.
but she finally found her way out
she left with no doubt.
though she knew she decision would hurt everyone that loved her,
she still kissed death at the door
and she was no more,
even though they swore
they could fix her.