i guess to say i love you is just a cheap way of getting out of explaining what i really mean, like yeah i love pancakes but to compare my love for pancakes to the sight of your smile in the morning would be a insult to the word love, its has become used so freely that it loses all context in the matter of feeling something deep down, so i think i will start again.

i dream and long for the moments of being next to you, not really doing anything other then existing in a moment and creating a memory for me to store somewhere in my brain, and keep it there and bring it to light when i can feel a tidal wave on emotion that i'm not particularly brilliant at deal with, the song you sang for me however does not sit deep in the spaces in my head, i wear that **** so brazenly not upon my sleeve but in my spoken vocabulary. i will shout that feeling that is released from my heart and envelopes me like a soothing mist surrounding me and holding me so gently. like ivy hanging on to a brick wall, the longer it is alive the more in clings to another thing so it can grow and be strong, and i like to think you are my brick wall, because not only do you challenge me to become more then what i think i cant achieve but you allow me to grow and take my own direction, knowing eventually i will cover it all just with a little patience and time, there will be no reason to rewind or start again. and the moments that i fail are only reason to push forward and march right into the thick of the battle and wage war on anyone who dare defy my dreams and expectations. i may find myself in a gun fight with only my fists to protect me but the week before i took on the world so bring that **** on because, with you by my side i can take this.

i don't need to fake it or try to rearrange the puzzle pieces to make my story fit how i want them to, you taught me to change my story to the one that i want to write.

I have never been good at ending anything. only turning away from something i didn't want to finish in hopes that i would come back to it and complete a section or paragraph. i guess what I'm really saying is stand by me. and i will stand by you through thick and thin through peace and war, through the battle that is finding yourself. and one day stand by our child as we raise a being to be exceptional in everything they do. to give them the confidence in their own ability so they can achieve far more then i ever could because we gave them a head start in life with a simple lesson that to love yourself is to love another, and to love another it takes a great deal of responsibility and devotion, to allow another to access emotion that can either make you or break you.

a story Isn't long enough, and a trilogy would never contain enough raw passion, an no sentence or words composed of 26 letters no matter how they are ever arranged would ever, truly, explain, just what you mean to me.

signed by.
                      1-4-3