A glance in the rear view mirror
A turn signal ticking and clicking like a clock
Foot off the gas now
Break a little
Slow down
The world dances around
As the car turns
Straightens up
Speeds up  
Fingers grip the steering wheel  
As if it were a life raft in the ocean,
With no sight of the shore.
A foot wants to push  
The gas pedal to the floor.
The rational mind
Is firm, but kind
Slow down, calm down
It says  
But the emotional mind won’t listen
Down,
Upset
Set upside down
The right side falls down
The wrong side jumps up
The emotional mind  
Takes control
Go
Just drive
Feeling more lost
Yet more alive
The eyes watch as the car
Swallows the never-ending highway  
Going away
Leave that place behind
The though of going back
Sickens the mind
And the fingers grip tighter
The foot, leaden, gets heavier
The fire burns brighter
Go  
Just drive  
Leave the past behind
But it is still here in the mind
If only
One could
Go
Just drive
Away from one’s mind.

When I was young I learned to count numbers on my fingers.
                 As I got older I learned to count calories in my stomach.
When I was young I ran for fun.
                  Now I run in the hope that I can run away from jiggly thighs.
When I was young I didn't know what the words 'body image' meant.
                 As I got older those words sat in my mirror and waited for even my slightest glance to
                 torture me.
When I was young I loved mac 'n' cheese.
                Now I refuse it through my stomach's growling because it is just too many calories.  
When I was young candy was a treat and a delight to eat.
                 As I got older sweets got bitter and with every candy wrapper came another pound of
                 hatred.
When I was young I did not know or care that I was fat.
                 Now I know it and care about it every second of my life.
                 I've learned to put down the fork and pick up the knife.

"You're too young to know what love is."
I hear it now more than ever
I've heard it many times before
But all I know is what I know and I know that this feels like love.

And someday later I may find
that what I know is not what I once knew
and that, no, I didn't know what love is.
But 'til that day comes I will let this fire burn beautifully like a rising and setting sun all in one,
or maybe it is more of a glow like the moon and a twinkle like the stars they twinkle like his eyes but
whatever it may be it is all I know
and I can only go
off of what know so
maybe I do know what love is.
This is love
he is love
we are love.
Yes, this is love
to me
faithfully
until what I know proves otherwise.

I lost my mind
Oh, but the wonderful wonders
I stumble upon through my blunders
Oh, the thoughts I do find
When I lose my mind.

We were less like party
More like animals
Logic made unclear
By clear alcohol
Transparent fuel
Lighting fires
Creating smoke
So opaque and
In the morning
I press replay
And hope for
Blackout smoke
But find that  
Clear as the
Glass bottle
My memories
Came back to me
But I wish they
Would have gone
Away as quickly
As the clear
Went down our
Throats that night.

the ***** burnt my insides
like strong fuel intensifying my fire
blurred dancing, laughing
jump, jump, jump higher

the wide eyes surrounding me
as I proved I could chug a beer,
the bubbles meant to lift me
only drown me, my dear

*** took over my limbs
moved my lips so close to yours
told me to forget about him
it turned us all into ******

and regret rises in our throats
yellow bile ***** hangover
seasickness is absent on my boat
but regret is a tsunami washing over

I drown, hands up in plea
I was with you not him
but still he forgives me
that makes one of us, not three.