In a
desolate dream
an old friend
dances
alone
on the trail
i blazed
in an effort
to forget him

Steal yourself my dear.
Bite your tongue and not your lip.
We shall begone by dawn and forever more.

This place holds nothing more for us.
This town is full of memories hollowed by hate.
Steal yourself my dear.

Quick kisses in the halls.
In the theater.
Behind the gym.
At the football game.
At the parties.
In abandoned houses.

There is nothing for us here but quick kisses.
Lost feelings.
And the past.
Most of all the past.

To move on...
To look ahead,
Something rendered due to the fragments of my heart and soul -
Keeping this limitless mind in this limited body...
People telling you to have hope in something you haven't seen or felt in quite some time,
It's weird to be overwhelmed by a feeling of nothingness,
But in retrospect that's exactly what lonliness is...
A desolate space filled only with your thoughts.

I feel as though my life is entrained towards a constant sunset...
                                         Yet,
                                                      I know at some point in my life there was a sunrise...
     Where I in turn, was a ray of hope for my family and friends...
                                                                                 Blindsided by a hurricane...
                               By a rainstorm that never ceased -
                                              A rainstorm that never even existed at all...
Just clouds...
       Clouds in my mind and in my soul -
                                                          Obstructing my view,
                            Leaving me in the eye of the storm...
                                                             Leaving me a motionless being with no direction,
   Content with my seemingly ever-seeking failure...

Do you ever feel as though the reality in which you live is just a  fragment of an imagination from another life...?
                                                                       My feelings drenched in watered-down alcohol...
             Burning my scars and soothing my mind simultaneously...
                                  The muzzle kept firmly, abrasively over my entire body -
     Lending my limbs just a numbness sensation,
                                               Causing the feelings I have to be morphed into an alternate state...
The things I want to be able to say...
                                                            to do...
               Are nothing more than just dreams I see...
                                     A dream in which I guess I no longer should dream for me...

Another hollow night of meaningless time spent trying to accumulate hours of sleep...
The clock seems stagnant during those minutes when I close my brain to escape the world
                                                                                                                              articulated before my eyes -
A world written in such a manner...
                that perfect poetry blemishes the manifestation I lay before thee...
          This perfect beauty... relevant seemingly only in the realms of language...
                             Tainting something lost adrift -
    Something so pertinent...            so... potent...  but lost...              lost adrift somewhere...
Only to be confined by our fabricated gratification of the meaning amidst the letters b e a u t y... Still resolved extraneously somewhere...
                                                                                      Somewhere lost adrift...

It's as though I put the blemish in the perfect peach...
I am suffocating under the weight of breathless air...
A comodity in which only I am entitled...
There is no light in the direction in which I adhere..
Yet, I aimlessly transpose further into the darkness...
I would have gladly ceased to exist, than to taint the life to which I was entitled...
And for this reason,
The puzzle has lost the pieces to finish it's picture -
To complete it's beauty..

I am not....