I don't believe in romantic love
not anymore

I have lived my life in hope
only to see it crash in despair
just to rise and do it again

I am too old to live on happily ever after dreams
and even those are not usually what they seem

I believe in the love of puppies
or kittens
in familial love or that of friends

Yet, part of me
misses that little bit of glee
when you meet someone
and revel in the possibilities

But I will get over it
I usually do

Still, sometimes it's nice to revel in an old romance
or two

Then, I am back to myself
back to not believing in romantic love ... again

This morning
I opened my eyes

And  began my day

I brushed my teeth
Combed my hair
And made my way downstairs

My dog follows me closely
He knows it's time for food

I open the door
To let him out

I am greeted by the
Most amazing amber light
The light is warm in hue, if not in feel

The sun,  beautiful
Golden

There is a chill in the air
Yet I feel warmed by the golden light
Filtered through the lens of December

I've done this before
I said to myself
on am warm, windy, DC afternoon

This feels familiar,
I had done this before
just not in this time or place

The feeling I had was familiar, friendly
warm and cozy
like meeting an old friend

That feeling was 189 miles and 30 years ago
that feeling was summer
that feeling was Mario

I have not seen him in all of that time

He lived there, I live here, and
time moved us along, but

He was always there, in the memory banks of time

Remembrances of him would come to me and
I enjoyed his visits

It was a place of possibilities, the first blush of love, and
I thought that would go on forever
but as we know when we get older, forever is subjective
what seems lasting and permanent isn't always that way

It's nice he came to visit me, even if he could not stay

I put on very red lips
looked in my mirror
and took a trip

back 20 years or so
to a place long ago
and a boy I used to know

we were beautiful then
as time would have me remember
I thought those days would be forever
but, I now know better

time has passed
I don't know where he is now
I'm not the same
and I'm sure neither is he

but in my head...
a song
a memory
or very red lipstick takes me
back and I am that girl
with those days that would last
forever

I am older now
and I know better

Today is the day you left us, three years ago.
This morning I cried, I still miss you so.
I heard the rain gently falling outside.
I believe you miss us too.

one of us had to go
i am sorry tho

i miss your countenance
and the self-assuredness you
displayed

but one of us had to go
we could not carry on
the way things were

as magnetic as you are
i was not going to make a move
even tho deep inside i wanted to

yes, i know in my heart it's true
things could not stay the same
life is not meant to be lived that way

i hope you are happy, wherever you are
now that i no longer see
that face which brought such pleasure to me

if by chance, we meet again
i will continue to control my glee

for mine is an unrequited love
meant only for me.

Today is the last day of baseball season in DC
it has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs.

But, with the crack of a bat, or an unbelievable double play, DC managed to catch an elusive unicorn. Colored, bright red, white, and blue.

Embroidered with a curly W.

This team may not be together next year this thought brings great sadness in me I wish they could stay like this, eternally.

But baseball like life is fleeting, and the World Series champions title may seem more far than near.

That ubiquitous call of wait 'til next year gathers ever closer
we fear

We want to hold on to the magic... of this year
To the excitement and wonder and the chanties of Baby Shark that fill the ear.


It is the end...for us at home this year, there still may be two games left to play, as hard as it is for me to say

See y'all Nats, and Nats fans; next year.