I need to be leaving
I’m going away
It’s too painful
Right now, to stay

I found a place
For a few days
To be alone
Leave no trace

I hope I will
Hear my quiet voice
Find myself there
Without the noise

I’ve been told
Anger is how
Your body
Communicates
Wakes up
Something in you
Disrupts
And I am
Furious

For myself
And the times
I disregarded
My needs
For another’s
Seemingly more
Important needs

I am someone
I am important
I am here

I have needs
Even if
You can’t
See them
Or choose
To tend
To them

I am
Willing
And able
To help
Myself
For
Myself

Maybe I’ve been complacent
Unable and unwilling
To do without

Maybe I’ve been screaming
With my own hands
Over my mouth

I love to love you fully
Give myself away
As I lose sight

As if it were romantic
Tempt me
And I might

It is the map I follow
Hang a left
At a guilt trap

Empowering myself to change it
Not too late
For turning back

I wish you would dive deep
Explore the cavern
In my chest
I am empty
I am hollow
Not much left

I started so strong
Much resolve
Too much to give
All along

It was too easy
For you to take me
I let you in
I let you have me
So easily

I shouldn’t have to
Guard myself
From the one
Who should have
Protected me

Alone is a place
I’ve never ventured
Always attached
Slightly indentured

Self inflicted fidelity
Unwarranted, at times
Despite indiscretions
Despite others’ crimes

There is something
Twisted, yet satisfying in this
To me, I feel loving
As red flags are dismissed

I hold on by a thread
He, on solid ground
He, allowed to feel loose
While I’m tightly wound

It’s time to stop
This time I meant it
Knowing it now
Being codependent

I saw your eyes for one more time
In the place I'd always dreaded
An opened link, a closed casket
Left me weak and hazy-headed

I tried to meet her eyes abrupt
When I paid respect to your life
She knew my name, without looking up
Your soon-to-be, future wife

It took everything I had
Past almost every threshold
Feeling so much more than sad
Burying someone special

Dented Diet Coke can heart
Trained to be concave
Too shiny and begging
To be torn apart

To feel the sliding
Of aluminum against aluminum
Too smooth and intoxicating
To stop

Willing to
Let you
Do it, too

Don't cut your finger