Kareena

Kareena Dec 2019

"None of us escape this life unscathed"
You told me and I felt
My insides wilt, then cave

"We all break and rust"
But within my Judas body
Was where I laid my trust

I was just trying to be healthy tbh and it didn't work out LOL. I can't be that mad at my body for crapping out on me because it wasn't its fault, but like it *****.

#chronicillness

Kareena Dec 2019

Dense

I apologize for my emotional density
I often worry you don't have time for me
I sit and cry and you watch me, scared
Not sure what to say, rushed, unprepared

Kareena Dec 2019

First Person

Life pains the most in first person
The narrowing narrative of perspective
Viewing through the peep hole of the self
Nothing is more personal
Nothing as dense
None could compare

Just reflecting on how it is hard not to feel like the things you experience are much more difficult than what others do. I try to remember often that **** could be much much worse, that others are suffering way more than I am and that I am lucky. I am so incredibly blessed. But some days, it truly does not feel like that.

Kareena Nov 2019

Transient

What a fleetingly beautiful thing
I am
My own body
The way it curves and is hard
In some places
And soft in others
And I look at it
As if I could control that
As if I should try

I think on myself
Touch my skin
And wonder
What is this beautiful
And transient thing?

Kareena Oct 2019

Listen

Talking to you
Sometimes
Is like screaming
To the wind
Touching mist
In one ear
Past a space
Out the other

I try to speak
Nothing sticks
I am mute
So it seems
Why is this?

I have found
Little things
Poems I wrote
Years ago
Where I found
The same thing

I cry out
To you dear
What response
Do I hear?

Kareena Oct 2019

Structure

My skeleton is a liar

The soul I possess
Is the true structure
Holding me up,
Making me stand

My spine
Is not my true backbone

As I've seen my body fail
Crash and burn
Dumpster fire
That hyperventilating
Mass in the corner
Out of order
In need of service

My soul shines through
Those smoke filled skies
And jagged rocks

Kareena Sep 2019

Low

I want it.
The shaking.
I won't know
Otherwise
If it is
Absent.
I wish
My eyesight
Would
Blur and
Vibrate
I don't
Know if I
Can feel that
Anymore
I've been
there too
Many times
It lost its
Touch.
Even at
My lowest
I didn't feel
That low
There
was room
to go down
Further
When would
I feel
it?
When would
I
crash?

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