Never did I believe
In a soul so spotless that it glistens,
So pure that it lights up
the darkest sorrows within me –
sets them aflame, you see,
leaving behind naked joy
No different from a Phoenix;
Winged, innocent, radiant.
Never once did I believe
that my heart could bleed
itself dry for another –
at the pain I caused them
or at the pain life did,
as life has a way of doing
To the most beautiful of souls
In its quest for balance.
Never once did I believe, you see,
In all this and much more
Until the day I grew up
And saw you for who you were –
My guardian angels
Disguised under layers of skin
And love, and concern, and kindness
And the faces of my Mother and my Father.
Never did I feel so worthless,
As the day I looked long and hard
At you, and then at myself,
Wondering what I ever could have done
To deserve love in such abundance
Love with so much selfless abandon
Love, so unconditional;
What I ever did to deserve the both of you.
Never did I once believe in prayer
Or that all we had to do was ask,
But I find myself defying
Every last belief we share
In the hopes that someone up there listens
And puts you out of your pain
That you go back to being my healthy, happy Father,
The one no sorrow could ever have touched.
As for you, who’s reading this,
I implore you to pray,
Pray for a Father who makes me believe
In the beauty of a man’s heart
For his sickness may not be fatal,
But it bothers him nonetheless
And of all the things I cannot let pass by unattended,
Their discomfort is foremost.