some people are just naturally inaccessible
no way into their head

and it doesn't matter how much time you spend
carefully planning out what you'll say to them

and you hope that you might say something right
or stumble across a certain word
that happens to mean something more to them
and that they'll finally let you in

you know the people i'm talking about
the ones always staring off into space
eyes captivated on something more

probably a thought
trying to break through
that wall of self doubt

their worn-out minds containing
fragments of hazy memories
that they want to piece together

but then they remember how hard it is
to break through that wall of self doubt
and they desperately search for someone
to break through that wall for them.

Remember how you said you'd do anything
as long as it made me happy?
well right now I'm sad
and we both know the one thing you could easily do
that would make me happy again.
I guess I was stupid
for even believing a word you said.
I could have sworn you were happy.
They say you can’t lose something you never had
but does that still apply to situations where you were deceived?
months of you constantly saying that you loved me
but as soon as things started tilting the slightest bit downhill
you end everything.
I never thought you had such a short fuse
I thought I knew you so well
and It’s scaring the living **** out of me
because everything feels too real
and I find myself terrified to talk to you
The only reason I didn't cry
was because I didn't want you to know how much it was hurting me.
And seven hours later it’s still hard to breathe
and think of you.
I cannot wait to fall asleep and escape reality
but equally I dread falling asleep
because then I will have to wake up
and I'll remember.