and in those moments when
she breaks down into
a mess of tears and a
pounding head
she can barely think of anything
except
"i wish i could take it all back
i wish i could just take everything back"

and she panics and panics
but nothing can fix it now.

sometimes i think
i must be the monster under everyone's bed,
hiding in everyone's closet.

but then i realize
i'm just a girl sitting alone on her bed,
wishing on orion and
waiting to fall asleep.

tonight did not
end up like i
wanted it to.