Well, cut some up
Have some fun then
Hey you're not my boyfriend
******* my arms are ******* cities.

I want you as a blanket, I can't see past this haze, I can't move
I have to kiss you, But you kiss like a fish, maybe the fish markets on my arms are from that fact.
Cactus.

I feel awful, gonna ****.
It's hard to walk.
Spare a dollar?
Can't find-it's my birthda-need food-please

Never do exstacy.

Playing with the chains wrapped around my heart
coloring over the pains, they were there from the start
hiding under elastic and metal
the emotions are plastic, wait for them to settle
though waiting can be deadly, I sit with my grin
this is all we really needed, is for time to set in.
Maybe we'll never be "we" again
but maybe we'll see, what we've brought to an end
was just never meant to begin
it hurts and I'll cry and feel dead
but it works so I'll sigh and remember the things you said,
to fix myself, time will bring answers
currently I reside in personal hell, though you'll probably not concur
for what it's worth, was it anything at all
what I still haven't learned, is how to take a fall.
I'll watch the embers blaze, watch the ashes float away
see the smoke cloud over, form a haze, turn night into day
while the night time sky turns into hot day time fry,
I count the stars the clouds the hours into days,
I watch the cars the roads all through a depressive-state-haze
so by the ponds, by the creeks, with my dog at my feet
listen to the frogs, the rocks we slept wide awake on
concussed with love, you've got a home in my heart
left it, flew off like a dove, leave me alone to play my part
let me try o repair your damage, I'm hanging in the air
we all know life's so unfair, and I'm dealing in my own way
everyone's problems are different, so great to you
could be hell to someone else, it's apparent you all need to
rethink your views of depression and addiction
what feels like regression and useless diction
can sometimes be the biggest personal hell of all
so enjoy yourself, I hope you have a ball
cause you never know, maybe
you've got the biggest problems of them all.

****.
****.
I'd cry for hours on the couch, curled on the floor, numb to the bone,
So I thought.
Razor, my shiny pal, proves me wrong.

CAN YOU FIND ME?
No, I'm swirling down the sink.
Don't talk to me, I still smile like an idiot.
Don't text me, I think you want to talk.
Don't let me think about you.

I've run out of tears now.
I've begun to suffer internally.

Crack my sternum, check inside,
where oh where has my heart gone to hide?
Check your hands, broken,
Check the soles of your boots, that you tried wearing once
Check everywhere but here.

*******, draw the blinds, curl up once more.
Leave me the **** alone.
I'm trying to get over this
****
Heartbreak hangover
you've given me.

Look at us go Watch us fly
Can you touch the sky
Can you never let go?
Are we going to be forever?
Are you true?

**** NO! *******! **** IT!
LET'S OWN LET'S FIGHT
LET'S fall, let's cry.
Fall asleep, forgot to close your eyes.
LET'S JUMP LET'S SCREAM

Let's have great fun, lie awake
day night days nights on end weeks.
Feels like tiny heart-attacks
say it's love I love you
Oh god you're mine it's true
****.

I'LL tear through the walls
I'll tear through YOUR heart
I'LL ******* UP.
YOU. *******.

CAuse you've turned me into an amphetamine machine.
A ******* IDIOT SHELL GHOST ****** UP SKELETON OF WHAT I WAS
What "We" were.
Take three more, watch me hit the floor.
I'm an amphetamine machine.

God if only I was so great like YOU ARE.
YOU PUT ME THROUGH HELL AND BACK.
THIS is what I get.

YOU get NOTHING.
You don't deserve the HATRED I spit, The LOVE I try to ****.
I can't even scream words at you.

ALL I SCREAM IS HATRED.

A too fake smile across my face,
doesn't quite reach my long-dead eyes,
Quiet silence defines my misery,
I'm fine, just take a look at me.

the grass actually isnt greener on the other side.
sometimes youre just dreaming a different reality way down inside.
youll climb over the fence just to realize.
the grass is just as dead as the smile that doesnt touch your eyes.

Honestly, what's wrong with me?
Is it really that hard to see?
They notice I'm broken, ******* up, deceived.
But don't come near me, don't "Oh dear" me, don't come near me please.
Because while I hold this gun up here,
I really don't want you near.

but darling dont you love me?
dont you care to hear my plea?
please dont pull the trigger dear.
let me hold you near.

You saw yourself!
My flightless eyes, my inner hell,
So what should it matter to you, if all else is well,
So kiss my eyes, say goodbye
Enfold not in yourself.

BUT DON'T YOU SEE? I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE!
without you i cannot be.
Come down from there
let that rope hang only air.
And with the slightest squeeze of a trigger,
SLAM
There's no one there.

I've been up all night
this feeling, it's not, it's not alright.
I'm never gonna be alright.
Alright.
I keep on taking more, I'm lying here on the floor.
Just one more. Just one more.
But you never know dear,
Why and how I got here.
I'm never gonna be alright.
You know it's not alright.
Alright.
My heart feels dead and cold now,
My eyes dry, I'm sold now.
Look upon the crystalline gold now.
You know it's not alright, I know I'm not alright.
Watch me get destroyed.
Watch me take four more.
I know I'm not alright.
Alright.

you know
that when you're all alone
I'll still be there.
I'll always be there, for you.

When you're down, for the count.
when you think you've got no more fight, inside.
I want you to know, somehow.
I'll stay by you. I'll stay for you.

No matter the pain
the cause our fights
I'll stay by you. I'll stay for you.

I cannot describe, the hurt inside.
The fear and death you've caused me to hide.
I will stay here, won't cry.
I won't say goodbye.

precisely why, I don't know
you've begged me not to go
/i'll wait for another blow
then you'll say another apology, and promise no more.
Promise no more.