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Kalei Bumatai Aug 2013
Maybe this is just me being paranoid
or crotchety, ****** or rude
Maybe I shouldn’t even write these things down
Maybe you’re just not in the mood
Maybe I’ve come up with scenerios that are completely out of this world
Maybe I’ve done my research and I know there’s another girl
Maybe she’s skinnier, prettier and a lot less far
maybe she’s calmer, easy going and has her own car
Maybe she’s willing to do what I’m not willing to
Maybe she fits better into your box you’re trying to fit yourself into
Maybe she doesn’t nag or yell or complain
Maybe she’s not stressed out and has more time to enjoy life and play
Maybe she is perfect for you but you still choose me
Maybe she doesn’t even exist and we are still a great possibility
Maybe I’m scared and maybe I’m wrong
Maybe we actually do belong
Maybe I just want you to tell me whether I’m making this harder or easier
Maybe I just want to hear you say that no matter what, we’ll always be together
Maybe I need you more than ever and I hug myself at night
Maybe I want to feel your love before, during and after a fight
Kalei Bumatai Jun 2013
I look at you and you don’t like what I see
But no matter what you say, I still see utter beauty.
Past bags under your eyes, through tears under your lashes
Long brown hair gnarled and uncombed, Eyebrows expressionless.
I can see all the battles you've won deep down inside your eyes
The ones that are within you, no matter how much you deny.
The only thing I don’t see is how they've made you stronger
Your eyes are beaten down by the years passed that have conquered.
But what you don’t tell anyone, is you’re the one who made them that way
You blame it on others but all the wars have exactly the same name.
The rings around your eyes tell me how long it has been
Since you’ve opened up your door and actually let somebody in
You can handle the cold shoulder if it’s yours pushing you aside
But would you let somebody love you if they walked into your life?
Kalei Bumatai May 2013
Sometimes I wish I saw life through rose colored glasses
Maybe then it’d be easier to deal with all the masses
Life is hard and that’s exactly how it should be
don’t take it for granted or you’ll be left in the dust, right next to me

I wish I didn’t see the bad, I wish I saw only good
there’d be no such thing as tears
No such things as fears
No “Miss Understood”

If I only saw the good in people, places and things,
I’d enjoy even the tragedy that life always brings

I wouldn’t have to think about all the past that someone else has
Or the road they have traveled
I’d welcome them with a smile instead of a metal-woven wall hoping to be unraveled

I wouldn’t have to worry about what you say, if it’s true
I’d only have to look you in the eye with ease and say I believe you
I wouldn’t have to hike up my skirt to wade through your old memories
I wouldn’t have to compress mine down to fit inside my own personality
Luck wouldn’t be rare and happiness would be stapled to your birth certificate
But that’s not how it is, no matter how you choose to see it

You choose to turn away from the reality of life
Turn your face away from the dark and attach it to the light
I wish I was as lucky as you
To look up to the sky and to always see bright blue
But me, I see the rain, I see the clouds
I see the monsters that you try to block out

I see little girls and their dolls with chopped off heads
I see little boys who are afraid to fall asleep in their own beds
I see loving souls that are forced to be ashamed of themselves
and I see thoughts and ideas left on dusty shelves
Sadness behind eyes that I can’t even begin to explain
Those on the streets just begging for change
Whether it be gold coins or the human race
We’re all begging just the same
Mothers who’s arms just couldn’t hold tight enough
Fathers who’s hands just couldn’t work hard enough
Big brothers and big sisters who tried to set an example
Little sisters and little brothers who were nothing but a handful
The more you don’t see, the more I do
I wouldn’t look away even if you wanted me to
The trembling lips retracting their own words
The ears that are longing to hear the unheard

I could see what I want and not think what I don’t
The steed would be parked right outside my front door
The prince or princess would come in smiling
and I would be there at exactly the right place and exactly the right time

There would be only one for each of us and we wouldn’t have to make any choices
The correct door would be marked and we’d hear no misleading voices
The days would always be sunny and night, always calm
There’d be no more shots in the dark and no more lost on the run

Families wouldn’t fight, there would have never been a war
the streets wouldn’t be filled with whoever doesn’t have more
The rent would be paid, our plates would be full
there would be no need to work yourself to the bone

We wouldn’t have to lock our doors at night
and strangers on the road would never be carrying a knife
The only way to get a cut was asking for a piece of pie
and the only reason to cry was getting sand in your eye

I wish the worst thing I had to do was go to bed early
I wish I could just smile and pretend there’s no reason to worry

There’d be no jealousy
There’d be no hate
There’d be no reason to discriminate
Everyone would get what they deserve
Without hearing, “Boy, you’ve got some nerve”

Fairy tales would be labeled as “news” and crime wouldn’t exist
Firsts would be labeled as lasts and you’d marry your first kiss
There’d be no reason to relate to anyone you don’t know
And there wouldn’t be songs about sinking to a new low
If everyone wore rose colored glasses, the city would always look beautiful
And no matter who was sitting next to you, you’d probably say that they’re wonderful
No one would be down to earth, because they’d all be sitting in the clouds
We’d have no deep thinkers because no one would even know how
The past would be a brightly painted picture
with a brush made out of new beginnings and hope
The colors would be described as “great!”
And everyone would be looking through the exact same scope
No one’s past is painted that way, with only bright white light
Some pasts are drawn in pencil and tucked away from others’ sight
Some will be seen by prying eyes whether welcomed or not
Some aren’t even sketched and will never be given another thought
Your past is a part of you, don’t let anyone try to take that away
No matter if you wish they would, like I do, some days
Sometimes it hurts, even if it’s not you who made mistakes
But remember, that’s the beauty in it, the calm after the quake
Those rose colored lenses are laced with expectations and fairy tales
They let you see the good in people, even if it’s not there
The hard part isn’t wearing them, it’s taking them off that’s the challenge
Just know that it’s a risk, either way, if you have them.

Sometimes I think I have the power to switch them on and off
and I’m getting a little worn down from always feeling so lost
So those glasses I set on the table, I’ll pick them up again
Because I don’t want to see any more
You go grab your pair, and we’ll rename what they call “folklore”.
Kalei Bumatai May 2013
You torture yourself, I know you do
Don't get me wrong, I do too
But it amazes me, the techniques that you use
Don't get me wrong, I have my own too
The way you cut yourself down, kills me inside
I do it to myself, but I have my own reasons why
No matter what though, you deserve to be held high
Even if Im not the one standing by your side
The stars dont don't shine as bright as the light from your eyes
You don't belong to sit as LOW as the night sky
The moon should look up at YOU when the world grows quiet
Because the moon shows us where to look and point TO the stars at night
The battles you fight don't have to make you who you are
They just show us where we've been & where we aren't
Because if you fought yesterday, then you dont HAVE to today
And if you learned, you should know what to say, or not to say
And since you torture yourself, like I know you do
The symptoms that show, only seem like they grew
Out of the self-doubts, harsh words & negativity IN YOU
That you yourself pursued, even if someone you knew told you NOT TO,
So lets face it, the battles, the hard times & sadness, too.
Will you trust that I will always be here to catch you?
Now, I know the history, I know the stories
I know the good, the bad & the ugly
But that's not how it always has to be
We can, together, write our own story
I can teach you that the bad isn't always so bad
You can teach me that I don't always have to be mad
We can teach each other the good outweighs the bad
And even if we end up being all we've ever had
The best part is, torture CAN come to an end
Especially if you're the one dealing it
The question is,
How much will you endure until you've had enough of it?

— The End —