Butterflies in the pit of my belly
Goosebumps on my arms
Kisses on my nose
Christmas presents being exchanged with love
Holding hands and dancing in the rain
Kissing as snow falls around us
Drinking hot chocolate
Ice skating
Swinging in the park
And skipping rocks on the lake
Picking apples and eating ice cream
Watching movies
Stargazing and watching the clouds
Fishing and boating
Hiking on trails
Spending the rest of my days with you
Making memories with you
5/17/12

Poems I see
of suicide and death
But all it makes me think
Is that used to be me
I wish I could read minds
So I could see if their words
Are true
For if the heartbreaking promises
Of no tomorrow are in fact
Promises
I'd be the friend I didn't have at first
To tell them it gets better
To tell them it's okay
To tell them that the future
Brings brighter days
Life isn't perfect
But it is a gift
We take it as it is

There is a prison that I know
A place where people like me go
We sit here for hours on end
Wanting for time to spend

This is a prison that I know
Where the board is full
And the halls overflow
Kids dream of summery pools

And I dream of a place I call home
A place where I am from
I wish to be home in my room
Because here feels like a tomb

I await for the bells to ring
They signal my parol
The inmates are actually singing
As we wait for the seconds to toll

Ding ding ding!
Sing sing sing!
The students leap from their seats
It's time to make my retreat

Another year awaits us

Who deciphers what is normal?
Who deciphers what is right?
So many people want to be this so called normal,
but does it even exist?
Being ourselves is better,
it shows our different views,
it is a way for other people to see who we really are.
Ignorance is shown for those who still believe
in such a word as,
NORMAL.

She closes her tear filled eyes
and  dreams of another life
She wants to look in the mirror
and not hate the girl
that stares back at her
Scars that cover her body
tally the times she's tried
to end her precious life
Mother and father
Oblivious
Sister and brother
Don't care
It's building up inside
Causing her to fall
Sooner or later
Death will take its toll
Future changed
She had made a friend
He was there for her
No matter the consequence
He stopped the death once
Showed her she mattered
And when she was healed
She had fallen in love
Her hero had fixed her
She had fixed herself
Life wasn't perfect
But it was a change
She was happier
Healthier
Than ever before

The music courses through my body,
making me feel all the more alive.
Lyrics bursting from my soul,
telling me, it's okay to let go.
Paintbrush in hand,
I am where i belong.
Though, i am alone
with no friends to call my own.
The world upon my walls,
are the only thing that matter.
Paint!Paint!Paint!
Sing!Sing!Sing!
Write!Write!Write!
The murals on my walls
shout out my mantra
while i am alone in
Kate's Universe.

The scars that line her body
also line her broken soul.
The blood that she has shed,
has long run cold.
Her fingers grip the knife,
fearing the sound it will make
if she were to let it drop.
She spent so long trying to hide,
spent so long trying to close herself,
making sure no one saw her pain.
Why should they see,
they were the ones,
the ones who made her suffer.
She's tired of breathing and living in a world,
so full of hate.
What can she do?
She digs  a little deeper,
watches the blood flow
knows her time is up
and finally says
Goodnight

In the moments before sleep
I lie awake in bed
Reminiscing
Some things are forgotten
Some things I wish I could,
but others are sweet
like chocolate kisses
placed upon ones lips.
I hear whispers from the trees,
telling me to close my eyes,
and sleep.
So with a final thought of my beau
I drift off into my dreams
of a future unlike the world
I've come to know.

What is the past?
A moment to be forgotten?
A moment to be shared?
I'd say either may be true,
Life is life and we take what we get.
It may not seem fair but it's true.
Things may not be perfect,
You might even call them horrid
But even so life is a gift to appreciate.
Memories can seem wrong,
But future can be changed.
When life may seem scary,
May even seem worthless,
The future will be there to catch you.
Stay alive, breathe again
Live with truth not with lies
The time will come
And the pain will finally disappear.

welcoming tomorrow was something i never did,
welcoming change was a nightmare.
Today is a new day,
and now i may feel okay..
But whenever i start to panic,
i know that i have stepped too far
from my comfort zone.

I'm a *****
I deserve the name
With all that I have said and done
To those around me
I don't care who they are,
They're people
That's enough of a problem for me
The people I care about
Are the ones who know the true me
The real me
And those of you who don't
Don't expect to ever
It's rare to be let in
It's rare to even be talked to
A word is worth a million
My language is my writing
My language is my art
People think they see me
They think they understand
I've been walked all over
Far too many times
To deal with it again

The wind howls, screams of the night,
The darkness overcomes me.
I don’t know how I got here,
only remember falling, falling down
The tears had been flowing,
The cries of anger echoing
during the moments before I fell.
There was no pain or anguish,
only confusion and fear.
When I landed I was surrounded by nothing,
and when I woke I was where I am now.
The clouds in the sky are heavy,
and the rain pelts my face as I search.
Am I dead? Dreaming? I don’t know
There is no one around to ask.
I am alone in this pit of darkness,
with not a clue how to get home.
It feels like years that I have wandered,
but I know it has only been days.
I feel as if I’m moving in circles,
same landmarks at every turn.
The trees appear dead and hollowed,
the sun never shines in this abyss.
That fight with my mother seems silly now,
and I want to be home in her embrace.
The tears I cry now are no longer of anger,
but of despair.