At least I had it at one time—
The ability to make pretty words flow and rhyme
Not only that
Those words were sincere
Genuine uprootings of feelings made clear

Whether the emotion be happiness or fear
You can count on the fact that they were true projections
Yes I write simple now
Maybe that’s okay

I was lucky, I was good
At bleeding out all the emotions I could
Feel, but now replacing it is fear
Of not writing a good enough poem for my virtual peers

That is where the trouble lies
If I write for others, that’s where the bleeding subsides
Perhaps my poetry has been tainted by my pride
Or worse, perhaps it acts as a block from the right
Words that I have so been longing to find
That’ll do it
Pride can **** the flow alright.

My heart has been breaking every day
With no way to allocate the exact cause
yes I know where is sets off
but I never know where this deep pain hides
surprise

it shoots from my heart
down my veins
into every limb of my body
then it encapsulates me
help

Am I crazy?
I know this is real
No one knows
The pain that I feel
When I say that out loud I feel like a child
But when I hold it in for an inch, it feels like a mile

This is intensity
In full swing
I know I can be more hurt
But so can a person suffocating

I’m not sure if my heart is being squeezed by something so intense, so present
Or if its getting strangled by literally nothing
Nothingness
Nothingness banging on the front door of my chest
Dense, dense nothingness
Thirst: a very present pain cause by literally nothing when what you need more than anything is something
With thirst, you can have many things, but not have exactly what you need.. what you long for

What if water was never introduced?
What if instead of it being imbedded in every human beings brain,
It was abstract?
What would u do when u had a thirst attack?
Panic

Intermission
Interruption
This depression is the greatest eruption
Something is caged inside me and needs to be let out
But what if it's too real?
What if whatever encapsulates it is Pandora’s box?
And does not change how I feel?

It's like a man
Looking at me, taunting me, torturing, ****** me
Some see him as very generic looking
Others don’t seem him at all
I see ugly and scary
I feel the pain he afflicts upon me
When people hear my screams, they think it’s a silly act
No help to be found
Just me and this empty alleyway full of people