I stare at
the frail
being
lying in
the bed.

That person
is you.
But it isn't
the real
you.

It's not the
strong man
that lifted
me up
when I
fell.

It's not the
man that
would smile ear to ear
and crack  
jokes.

It's not the
man
that stood tall
in boots and jeans
with a cowboy hat
on top.

It's not the man
that worked
hard
everyday despite
the pain.

It's a man that
has been broken
down from years
of torment.

It's a man that
is ready to
be set free
from the pain.

It's a man I
love dearly and
wished I didn't
have to say
good bye to.

The darkness
encompasses me,
like the folds of
a blanket.
Its warmth is
welcoming.

The familiarity of  
the darkness
is hard to
turn down.

So I snuggle
ever deeper
into its folds.

However,

When I struggle
to get out,
to breathe a breath of
fresh air,

I am always
dragged back into
the sweet confines
of my
blanket.

Smiles a mile wide,
Booming laughs
That can be heard
For miles away

...A blinding facade
Of happiness