A pill for the pain,
Two for the lies.
Three for the smiles,
I have to hide behind.
Four for the times,
When you weren't there.
Five for the reason,
I no longer care.
Ten for the scars,
Twenty for the abuse.
Thirty more for my pitiful excuse.
Forty for my friends,
Fifty for my family.
A promise to them,
That I was never really happy.
Sixty for the thoughts,
Of ending my life.
Seventy just out of spite.
Eighty for being lost,
Ninety for you not seeing.
Ninety-eight for you,
And darling?
One hundred for me.

He dreamt of darkness,
of falling from a high place,
of flashing lights, dark shades of red-
He dreamt of death,
but never with dread nor fear.
He dreamt of his suicide
jumping ship, flying home
to have a new beginning.
When he walked,
he acted as if his dreams
had never happened;
at no time did he ever reveal
that his only fear
was reality.

I'll stand here and smile, for your sake and theirs
I really can't stand to see you hurt anymore
So I change my stance, stopping the truth
Cause the lies are better than what was before

I truly am sorry for being like this
Faking a smile, a weak one at that
But it's better than how I actually am,
It's something I need to work at

I see the fear in your eyes for what I may do
And that isn't okay, but maybe you should
If all goes to plan that look will fade soon
Cause all I'll do now is for your good

You don't need to worry, not anymore
I'm okay now, so calm your fears
Cause I'm gonna get better, and that's a fact
And then we'll live here, throughout our years

I truly love you with all of my heart
You mean so much to me, done so much
I don't know where I'd be without you,
So let's never split, let's stay in touch

she is like a feather drifting in the breeze,
nobody knows her past nor who lost her,
but nevertheless they want to catch her
and have her as their own,
even for just a little while-
a possession to be desired
but never to be gained;
she always stays just far enough away
when she takes her leave,
blowing away on a new gust of wind
everyone stares after her.

Love, I'm sorry we can't speak tonight
But I'll touch myself after I turn out the light

Imagine your warmth pressed against my back
Count thoughts of you in my head until I lose track

Huddling alone in a cold lonely bed
Thinking about all the sweet nothing you said

I'll fall asleep and I'll dream of you
The things you said about the things we'll do

Until you come home, and you say you'll hold me tight
Yet I'm still alone when I turn out the light