i trudge through the night
the darkness behind me
i trudge for the unknown

why do i live?

i carry on
with no shelter on my back
trudging,
through the black cave

i can't go on
the fatigue,
oh,
the fatigue

defeated
by my desires

i can't go on
i'm so tired

tired of having this battle,
tired of trudging on.

why can't i take a break?
no time for me to breathe?
the walls are closing in.

claustrophobia kicks in.

i trudge on,
because i can,
but i have no purpose.

i trudge on for the day
i serve my purpose.

i will sleep
like everyone else

falling in sleep,
while everyone else
falls  in love

there will be a day
when i will sleep
an endless death

you will see the smile
on my lifeless face.

i am lifted to the clouds,
oh take me to the rainbows,
dont search for me-

i'll already be gone.

begone.

the way you looked at her,
the way you looked at me.

your thoughts for her
were as evident as the sea.

red, hot jealousy.

envy is green,
depression is gray,
sadness is blue but

red, hot jealousy.

the way you talked,
the way you smiled
i knew
that i knew-

red, hot jealousy.

it burns the world down
it consumes
it engulfs
unable to control,

the red, hot jealousy.

drives me to the other end,
makes me rage.
like a wildfire,

red, hot jealousy.

you better stay away from me.

i thought it was gone,
please tell me it has gone.
for the darkness fills
the empty void
once the light is gone

leave me be
the thoughts
leave me be

no rest for me,
no peace for the hard working?

i tried so hard.
harder than the sun.
and when i wanted the rainbows
i created the gray.

was it so bad
to be in love?
when u let go of the string
it stung
so
hard

thank you.
for bringing the rain.
to see all my flaws
and the holes in my life

u opened my eyes
to the darkness of the world
thank you
to let me see the darkest corners of the room

i thought i was cured
i was laughing.
i was happy.
i loved the sunlight and the warmth
the waves resisting against my hold

i was wrong
its back
chasing me
nowhere to run?
no where to escape?
with a single push,

its, back-

the dark beast of my nightmares
consuming from inside
the flames around me
makes me
hotheaded

i cant go on
cant cease to exist
when i go to sleep
i want to never wake

you can find me above the rainbows.
where i'll be peacefully sleeping
don't wake me up from my dream.
it's the best i've ever had.

i am lost in a sea of colors
my head unable to wrap around the chaos
my thoughts swimming in the sea
ungravitational, floating away

oh, find me somewhere over the rainbow
where i can escape the world
promise me that you'll meet me over the rainbow
so that we can share the bliss of peace

who am i when the beasts inside
consumed my identity
because of them
i created a mask for myself,
and ended up losing my identity

i smile to hide it, i laugh to fake it
wondering why the world doesnt care
it doesnt care
it just revolves
its doing its job

im the careless one

find me over the rainbow,
oh the light of colors blinding me
when my time has reached its end
i am welcomed to the skies

take me over the rainbow
where pain does not exist
and i forever wait for the day
i will escape