So vividly my mind's eye remembers.
I gaze into the darkness behind my lids
And see the shadows take your form.

First your young face.
Round cheeks, short dark hair.
Eyes black as coals.
Eyes haunted by what you knew
And what you carried alone
With a neck
That could barely support your head.

Then your torso,
The outline of every rib
Stretching the taut skin of your chest.
Your frail thin arms
And tiny bony hands.

Lastly your legs,
The first to go
And the last that appear.
Knobby knees,
Contorted tendons,
Curved feet.

And just as your mouth begins to move,
Your eyes shining with mirth,
Your feeble hands open before you,
A laughter rings through the air.
I run to you
momentarily forgetting
And brutally reminded
As I grab you in my arms
Only for you to disappear.

Salty tears burn my eyes,
A cry of despair pierces the silence,
I wretch onto the floor.
It's been eight years
And it hits me all the same.
I close my eyes again
Willing you away
Trying to forget
But I can't.

along the path you set for me,
i came across a skeleton key,
off the side there was a tag,
the words i read seemed to lag,
i caught my breath and read aloud,

*take this key, i have endowed,
find my weakness.... break me down.

there is a sad child
somewhere
over beyond those trees
where a red balloon
floated up from
his hand
and
into the blue,
fall
sky

I’m sure he pulls
at his mother’s hand,
begging her to look,
to notice,
but she will shuffle
him off, tugging
the boy along
as he points and
cries towards
the volume of rubber
growing smaller
and smaller in
the distance

there is nothing I can do,
nothing anyone can do
and I take solace in that

but I feel for the kid:

his first disappointment
in a long life filled with even
worse ones