velvet melodies float lazily
from wood floors to vaulted ceilings
as you tell stories not just with your voice,
but with the tendons in your hands,
the curve of your lips,
and the wolf grey rounds of your eyes.

every word sends me spinning
into a place i've never been.
every letter, carefully dipped in honey,
sticks to my senses.

i am caught up in your goodness
like butterflies catch themselves on flower petals.
i am awestruck as baritone laughter rises into the air,
mingling with the scent of dust and dogwood trees.

and as the sun begins to lower itself into the river,
i realize that time means nothing
when the hands of the clock are entangled
in the dizzying twirl that is your presence.

we touch for a moment
and fate reminds me that sometimes
bodies collide and spark
the same way that stars do.

Do you reside here too?
Amidst the dancing flames that lick your soles
But leave your soul cold?
In the thick of the desperate wails and tortured cries
Where no one lives, but everyone dies?
Between the tired used up husks of those who once were
And the fresh bleeding harrowed condemned?
Where the sharp silver hurts, even as it heals?
Where ice burns just as hot as fire?
Among the tears of the broken and the ******
Of the beggars and refuse?
In the darkness deeper than any night?
Surrounded by pain and suffering so sharp it stabs
Into you until you can’t feel anymore?
Could you possibly live here too?
No, angels don’t stroll through hell

I’ve written all these first lines
But I am out at the moment
And
I am drunk

So here is mine

It is 1 am and raining
I want to stand in it naked
Feel the wet and cold bite my body into shivers

Feels almost as good as being punched for the first time
Where you realize that these the people you’re afraid of
Can’t hurt you as badly as you thought they could

I am a body practiced in resilience
We are bodies built soft enough for the bounce back

Only now I am not so sure I can bounce back from this

I want to want someone so badly that thinking about them
Helps me sleep at night
He said

Thinking about her helps me sleep
And I want to be wanted like that

Right now I am tired

Maybe it’s the beer
Maybe it’s the comfort of a bed
That I no longer get to sleep in

My ex is out for the night
And I am in our old bed

If I wake up early enough
Leave before she knows I was there
I will still have slept shamefully

There are days where I remind myself
That the strongest men
Are ones who let the chinks in their armor show
And keep walking
I’ve got some nasty holes you might’ve noticed

But I’m trying

And I’m sorry I push you away sometimes
Just that I don’t want you to see me
When I have to retighten the springs in my knees
To keep the buckle at bay
Or when I have to loosen the screws in my jaw
Tightened from a tear-bite

Holding up this armor is hard
These shoulders want to hang heavy
I don’t want to rust in the rain

I want it to break
So the truth might punch me perfectly
Into understanding that this hurts right now
And even though for the moment I want it to **** me
It’s not going to **** me

I am better than that
But I am lonely

He gazed at her face
In awe of her anthropomorphic beauty

He wants to surrender to her savagely

Come
Migrate your lips my way
Even if it’s just to devour
I want your mouth on me

He trembles
Skin tightens

More beast than human
Less beauty
More everything else

She is a dance floor
Splinter scuffed

He is so much sandpaper passion
That she might actually be smooth again

The way she howls scares him

The wearing down to perfect
Is painful

They both want something they can’t have

But press harder to find it

Teeth gnashing a ****** river

Her scars are ****
Battle bruises from lovers who have lost

He will not lose her this time
He will not lose

He wakes naked
Covered in earth

And the scent of her lingers
Something damp and warm on his mouth

He will not lose her this time
Not again

i am a tiger disguised as a house cat -
stretching my lithe body against the rays of the sun,
beckoning the naive to stroke my snow white coat.

i am a hornet with the visage of a butterfly -
spreading my wings in a flurry of scarlet,
blinding the pure in my dazzling flight.

i am a wolf wrapped tightly in sheep's clothing -
silently and peacefully at rest,
inviting the blessed to gather me in their arms.

i am a siren of old -
calling the innocent to me with a whispered song,
waiting for the **** with a shining smile.

i harbor no regrets.
i am fiery hell with an angel's face.

Forgive me for my lack of articulation
I don’t speak as retardedly prophetic as I used to
Or welcome death because no one knows it
When the fear of leaving
Is hell enough to stay
And the finish line is miles away

We will all meet it
At exactly the right time

We’ll both come in first
I promise

And

You

Well mouthed
Keeper of my darkness
Forgive me if I war trench your back at night
I’ve just never really known safety

Surprised at the size a man can be
When pressed to someone’s back
As the night covers all fronts

I know
I got love’s lashings scarring up my liver
When I drink myself to sleep at night

This morning
I awoke shortly after midnight from a text message
That took me an hour to respond to

Forgive me
I was thinking in dreams again
You were there
Watching me steal a pineapple popsicle and a Dr Pepper
From a vending machine

We then hopped in an airborne submarine
Only it was really a long broomstick between my legs
And your legs
And the legs of two others I’ve never met before
And we weren't ever really airborne

Even the figments of my imagination have to humor me
At times

And my ghosts are kind enough to leave before I awake
Playing poker over my body as I sleep
As I dream
As I startle
***** Drunken Poorly Invented Modern Sanskrit
Into the thick air

So cold I have to chisel the sweat away

I don’t sleep as soundly as I used to
Or speak as well
Or think as thoroughly
I just know what feels good when I don’t want it to

And I don’t know any other way to tell you
To slow down and wait for me
Because I am sure that
We’ll get where we’re supposed to be going
Exactly when we’re supposed to

For Christmas

I want a bible with all blank pages

I want a butterfly butter-knife
For surprise attack sandwiches

I want a time machine
So I can go back to when I was a ******
To my first cigarette
And my first lover
And my first broken heart

To where my eyes didn’t have the green tint of jade
Lightening up this solid brown
My favorite color

I want a new harmonica inhale
And exhale
I want to breathe heavy into your wind instrument
CPR your song back to life

I want to slow dance on dying yuletide embers
And regift your laughter til I am not funny anymore

Don’t be mad that I recycled the stockings
You made me remove so slowly last night

They are stretched out now
And filled with crumpled photographs
And candy
And sticky notes full of bad one-liners

Like

“I thought I loved you until I loved you
And now I’m not sure of anything”

Forgive me
It was all I could afford

I want
More than just blankets to keep me warm at night
I want you to keep me warm at night

I want a type-writer big enough to run myself through
So I can rewrite the rough drafts my parents never finished

I want to bring the stars back west
So I can wish some more

I wish I knew how to be quiet
When beauty demanded silence
So her feet could echo proper
Drawing eyes to follow her sound

I want the trillions of miles my mind has traveled
To finally stop somewhere important

Like right here

Near the end of this poem

Where I tell you
I want so much
And need so little
Just the promise of tomorrow I guess
Until there are no more tomorrows
Then just a fair warning
Long enough to make you laugh maybe
That’s it