How can I escape you
When everything I see reminds me
What am I supposed to do
I know I can’t put it all behind me
I want to say it, but I can't go through
So I guess I'm now resigning
And now I know that what I thought was true
I’m cursed to how God designed me

I wanna cry
But I’ll say I’m fine
It’s all a lie
I really can’t run away this time

I hate me more than you ever could
You know that well
You say you aren’t doing too good
But I’m ******* swell
Don’t wanna do it but I know I should
And it hurts like hell
I don't belong in this neighbourhood\
Under this bell

I wanna cry
But I’ll say I’m fine
It’s all a lie
I really can’t run away this time

I’ve woken up
No longer under your spell
Sobered up
And realised I’m in Hell
You played me hard
But you did it well
You built me up
But in the end I fell

Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
The truth was blurred but now it’s clear
Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
My scars are now my souvenirs
Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
I’ve lost it all and now I have no fear
Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
Now I see that the end is near

Now you’re gone
And I can heal
You were too good
To be real
My heart was always
yours to steal
But you burned it up
And I can’t feel

Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
The truth was blurred but now it’s clear
Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
My scars are now my souvenirs
Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
I’ve lost it all and now I have no fear
Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
Now I see that the end is near

Bring me up to Number Five
Remind me that I’m still alive
Right now I’m really not feeling too hot
‘Cause 1, 2, 3, and 4 is all that I’ve got

One, One, It can still be done
Two, Two, I ******* hate you
Three, Three, come back to me
Four, Four, life is a chore
Five, Five, I’ll never see Five
No matter how ******* hard I try

So bring me up to Number Five
Remind me that I’m still alive
Right now I’m really not feeling too hot
‘Cause 1, 2, 3, and 4 is all that I’ve got

What’s the point in perfection
If it comes easily?
Happiness wouldn’t feel so good
If we didn't know misery.

Forget about the past
It doesn’t matter what’s been done.
But hold on to your sadness.
It’s pointless to try to run. Harness and embrace the pain;
Make an ounce a ton.
Because if life wasn’t so hard,
It wouldn’t be so fun.

The good might not outweigh the bad,
But it all reciprocates.
You might as well accept your hand
‘Cause you can never change your fate.

Forget about the past
It doesn’t matter what’s been done.
But hold on to your sadness.
It’s pointless to try to run. Harness and embrace the pain;
Make an ounce a ton.
Because if life wasn’t so hard,
It wouldn’t be so fun.

The glass is fogged
And I can’t see
You’re on the outside
Guiding me

You tell me to turn
Where there is no road
Now I’m in a hole
Where a river once flowed

Now I see the bones
At the bottom of this gorge
And a forgotten ring
Which from blood was forged

I see the mistake
The window is clear
So I’ll grit my teeth
And have no fear

Go forth and cry
Only then can you heal
Desire can only bring pain

I’ve felt my fair share of hardship
Still, I have my doubts

Don’t run away from pain
Especially when it becomes unbearable
As long as you can feel, you can heal
Dreams come and go, but nightmares always remain

It’s times like this
When I’m alone and scared
That I wonder if
You ever cared.
All this time
I’d hoped it was so
But I can see now
That the answer was no.

I feel like a fool;
I played right into your game.
But I’d do it all again
And I’ll never feel the same.
I thought that you loved me
But in the end I was wrong.
Who would have known
That forever doesn’t last so long.

When did everything go so right?
I used to want you dearly
Now I’m glad you’re gone.
I thought you were the one
Now I know I was wrong.

I was dependent;
Addicted to you.
Your love was a lie
But now I know the truth.
I analyzed the past
But there was no use.
Now all I need to know is…

When did everything go so right?
You had me wrapped around your finger
I never had a chance.
I never had control;
My heart was always in your hands.

You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me
Even though you were my mistake.
I’ve learned my lesson now, and so
You were one I’m glad I had to make.
I only wish, for me to learn,
My heart didn’t have to break.

When did everything go so right?
I used to want you dearly
Now I’m glad you’re gone.
I thought you were the one
Now I know I was wrong.

I’ve been really sad lately
And I just want to let it out.
But that can never happen for me
‘Cause I’ve got nothing to cry about.

I want to hold you in my arms
And feel your warmth against me.
But you could never understand.
It’s just something that you can’t see.

Without you, there’s no me.
Without you there’s no us.
But whenever I hold you
My love is in surplus.

I know I’m asking for too much.
And I know I don’t deserve it.
But I’ve got an unexplainable hole in my heart.
And you’re the only puzzle piece that fits.

Bottles on bottles
Stacked up in my closet.
Call it self destructive
But I do it because I want it.
No, scratch that,
I do it because need it.
I’m beyond being helped
My sadness is deep seeded.

I'm too far gone
It's too late to help me.
Compared to this life
How bad could Hell be?
If it’s anything like this
Then I’m ready for it.
Take my car to a cliff,
drop a fifth and floor it.

I don't need any of this,
It’s meaningless to me.
When it comes to pain
I've seen all there is to see.
When it comes to happiness
I've never had none.
If I'm considered a human
Then I’m a sad one.

Is there anything left to remember?
Is there anyone else to answer my call?
In a world of emptiness and misery
All that greets me is my defunct mind.
I cannot run,
Nor can I hide
When the demons from which I must escape
Are waiting for me inside.
And therein is the dilemma;
What is truly the lesser of the two evils?
Booming malevolence?
Or deafening silence?
I only wish for a middle ground.
Maybe there could be in a perfect world.
But that is where reality ends
And my idealism begins.
Because this is not a perfect world.
This is the fractured reality
That is my personal Hell.

Am I okay?
Rarely ever
Am I happy?
Almost never

All my angst and all my sadness
Never get me anywhere
So why do I feel this way?
These feelings I almost cannot bear

Life is becoming too much for me
Handling it is a chore
But I try to lock this away
Even though I’m melting at my core

So here I am, miserable
Wasting away in Hell
But I hide it all way
So no one else can tell

You were the greatest
That I never had
Which might be romantic
If it wasn’t so sad

I would do anything
To get you back on my side
But I won’t do anything
Because I can’t suppress my pride

There’s no point in talking
There’s nothing left to say
So let’s save our breath
And just walk away

The feelings that I'm feeling are get stronger
I don't think that I can take it much longer
Life just *****, life's not fair
So sit me down in the electric chair

I don't think I've got what it takes to stay alive
I don't think I've got what it takes to thrive
I'm not okay, I need divine intervention
So hook me up to the lethal injection

I know it sounds dramatic, I know it sounds dumb
I think at this point, my time has come
Now it's come time for my final harangue
So tie me up and leave me to hang

My time is up, I've been defeated
My will to survive has been depleted
I've got no pride, I just hang my head
So line up the guns and shoot me dead

I wish I had the words to describe what you meant to me.
But, right now, my diction fails me.
What a curse it is to remain silent in this moment,
Where the opportunity is present
And the time is ripe
And my opening is beyond available.
And, as quickly as it appeared
My chance vacates
And I’m back where I began
Waiting for a moment
To repeat the past.

I patiently await the rain
But I can’t force something
That simply isn’t coming

I want the flood to come
And wash away the debris
I’m ready for the clouds
To drown out the sun’s glow
And keep everything locked away

I want to feel the enticing warmth
Of reparations still to come
But to accept this happiness
Would be to admit defeat

So in this misery
I must remain
For this dreadful equilibrium
Is all that keeps me grounded
And anchored to reality

Oh how magnificent must be the feeling
Of basking in the warmth of another.
To feel the undying passion
And mesmerising warmth of another life
Would be a true blessing,
One which is deserved by all
But enjoyed by few.
But why must this elusive club remain so clandestine?
Clearly, this unbridled joy must act to dampen our stresses
And brighten our lives
But still it remains a delicacy
Which is not to be taken with ease.
But, were it an easy game to play,
Would it still hold its value in our hearts and minds?
Only in its absence,
It would seem,
Can we truly appreciate its presence.
And so it eludes me
For no reasonable that can be easily discerned.
I hope to one day find that joy,
And for my haunted ravings
Of hollow days and nights
To be rendered moot
As I finally bask in that warm glow.