I long for his lips on mine
yet when our soles intertwine
I go numb
My heart screams out
yet all that's left is an echo of what once was
a shadow
darkness filled with knives
scraping away form the inside out

Dear love,
Bear with me. My soul has been to hell and back. My brain is clouded by the sting of the pain. I want to love and feel. But all that I am is hate. My soul is broken but I attempt to light a candle and build a sun anyways. Yet the chill of the wind whisks it away. I can not tell you what's worse, I am either drowning in the ocean or starving in the desert. There is no in between. I am fighting a loosing battle and can not see the end of the tunnel.
Dear love, bear with me.

Who? do you love
What? are you thinking
When? will I feel happy
Where? can I go
Why? am I here
How? can I change the world

worthless and weak
I strive for perfection, pulling it off flawlessly.
Yet there's always something missing.
The glass can never be full.
They see the light I give them
never revealing the shadow behind
Once the the last star is stolen
The darkness swallows me whole
and now lies the proof
help once more I wispier
I look back, seeing nothing
I become an abyss
Falling down waiting for the crash
When he takes my hand
Weak and worthless
He gives me light to treasure and hold
a peace of him to long and behold
to stitch back together a broken little girl
Restoring the stars in her eyes
I dance away smiling
Strong and beautiful

Dose he know I'm crash landing?
Dose he know my mind races with thoughts of him?
Dose he know I see the way he looks at me?
Dose he know that I'm not lying?
Dose he know how much I idolize him?
Dose he know I find his eyes to be the most gorgeous in the world?
Dose he know sometimes I count the stars to keep my mind off him?
Dose he know of all the little things I do for him?
Dose he know how much pain I'm in?
Dose he know my favorite place is in his arms?
Dose he know that he's healing all my wounds?
Dose he know I would do anything for him?
Dose he know I love him?

I battled though the darkness
Pushed though the pain.
I caught a glimpse of sunlight
In the eye of the storm.
The waters calmed,
The shadows faded away
I put down my wepons
Destroyed my walls
Only to get thrown back in
Twisted, thrown and torn apart
My sole shattered once again.
Defenseces gone
Wepons left behind
How do you win a war
With nothing but a shell?
Barely surviving just the start
I'm doomed to drown forever more

He looks at me with such pain.
Oh love what have you seen?
Take my broken wings and fly
for you are meant to sore
so far from this pain.
Grounded by my shadows,
You choose to stay
not knowing the destruction yet to come.
I fear for your survival
for I know the storm we face.
I pray the light you believe in still exists.
We are destined for the darkness now

The darkness started to fade away
just long enough to feel the warmth of the sun on my skin.
Once again feeling, once again hopeful.
Only to bombard me with a hurricane
Twisting, ripping, shredding through my newly stitched soul
The peaces shattering to the ground
shadows engulfing me like a children's dance.
Once again my sole is clouded by the demons sins.
Why continue?
I have done it all, yet nothing works
none of them care enough to hit pause just for a moment
they expect you to leave everything behind and come to the beach
yet when you ask for them to just sit and listen to the rain
the shadows steal them away
So here I sit alone weighted down by the weight of the tears
whispering for help praying for just a flicker of a candle
hoping to scare the shadows away.
So here my clouded soul sits alone in the darkness of the hurricane.

Some scars are hidden some in plain view.
His hands are so beautifully broken and warn
His eyes of a strong bear but as friendly as a dogs
I look at him with such intensity
wondering how and why
He pulls me in as a laugh and peck his cheek
Once parted reality settles back in
I feel myself drowning as the darkness consumes me
He tries to reach out but closing the door seems so much easier
As the sun rises I pounce on him like a kitten playing with a dog
He compliments the light but continues to ignore the shadows
I seek out his daemons determined to conquer them
But behind the lock and key he hides them
Shining the light though the cracks hoping to see just one
as the clock approaches I return to the comforting prison
drowning once again I hide the bleeding scars
His body covered in stories of excitement and adventure
His emotion hidden behind that lock and key
The key I hope to become for only then could he be my moon.

My secret?
I hide in the shadow hidden by the light of my smile.
Its the best sanctuary for no one cand find it. It disappears when light is shined on. Yet it engulfs me when night falls. But darkness hides everything. No one sees the pain, so therefore it dose not exist. Out of sight, out of mind.
My secret?
My sole is being shredded on the inside. Knives scratching away at my innards. I hold my shattered peaches together just long enough to drop them in my bed.
My secret?
It's all a lie. Every smile, every laugh, every drop of love is poisoned by a faceless enemy. The agony becoming to much to bear.
My secret?
I was about to destroy it all. And then he saved me.
My secret?
He saved my sole and he dosnt even know. He peaced me back together one stitch at a time. He never turned away or walked out the door. When the night came he became the light. Shinning every corner of every second. Leaving no place for the night to invade.
My secret?
I love him. And alway will.

I fall into him
Letting it all go
Escaping the world into his arms
Listening to the beat of his heart
in rhythm with mine
Intoxicated by his sent
I don't want this moment to end
Letting it all go
Our soles intertwine together
As we become part of the stars
I fall into him
Letting it all go

The weight of the darkness
poring into the lonely sole
Like a star suffocating in the night sky
I felt myself drifting away
deeper into the endless nightmare
that surrounds my world