You were forever on my mind.

Your eyes,
Your dimples,
Your entire ******* face.

I stopped thinking for me
And started to think for you.

Will he like this shirt?
He won't like me if I gain anymore weight.
Does he prefer my hair up or down?

I should have ran then.

Now here I sit
Watching the waves roll in,
Completely devoid of emotion.

I've cried my heart out until i could cry no more.
I decided then to pack away my heart.

I wrapped it up in the newspaper from last Sunday.
The one that mentioned all the graduating seniors.
I whimpered a little when I read your name.

Then I placed it in a cardboard box.
I ****** in a deep breath when I realised
That box had your mixtapes in them.

I shoved the box that held my heart into the back of my closet;
The one you hid in when my parents came home unexpectedly.

I take a few deep breaths whenever I see that box.

I remember taking a sharpie and writing a few words on the top.

NEVER TRUST A BOY WITH GREEN EYES AND A GUITAR.

F
a 
l 
l 
i 
n 
g 

Gently, slowly. 

"No one wants you here." 
"You don't belong."
"Go **** yourself, freak." 
The words turned to razors she dragged along her worthless skin. 
She cried her heart out to her pillow as the moon watched on.


S 
p 
i 
n 
n 
i 
n 
g

She held her head high as she ignored the whispers from the hall as everyone whispered about her trip to the hospital.  

"Too bad she didn't finish the job." 
'Yes, too bad.' she thought. 

T 
u 
m 
b 
l 
i 
n 
g 

­Down through the silence of the dinner table as her mother glanced in distaste at her scars and her father ignored her. 

'Don't cry. Don't ******* cry.' She repeated like a mantra as the boy she had trusted, 
Had told everything, 
Announced her secrets to the entire school. 
"No wonder she wants to **** herself." 
She couldn't tell if she was being sympathetic or not. 

D 
r
o 
w 
n 
i 
n 
g 

As she finally took a long walk off a short pier as everyone had instructed her to.
Deep breaths of salty water 
As the depths of silence gently surrounded her . 
She smiled serenely as the ocean lulled her to sleep.

Let me taste your lips on my skin. 
Your heart next to mine. 
Can we just lay here?

But no, you had to leave. 

Again. 

I hate your job. 
How you always leave me for it. 

But something tells me you're not always 
"just working late". 

Maybe its how distant you've been lately. 
Or maybe its how you smell like cheap perfume. 

But when I come home to find another girl in our bed, 
That my dear, is where I draw the line. 

Kicking and screaming,
You're gonna have to drag me out. 

Yeah, you better run out of this house. 
You'll have a nice surprise when you get back. 

Clothes scattered everywhere, 
Vases broken, 
Records scratched. 

You have to admit, 
I did good at getting back.

Please,
Help me.

Its in me now.
And its fatal.

You know that right?
That you're the reason I'm slowly dying.
And you keep giving me more
As I slowly become more and more dependent on it.

Like a ****** with a fix;
At first joyful, then guitly.

I tried to stop it.

To get it out like ******* the poison from a snake bite.

Why would you do this to me?
I thought you loved me.

But I guess that's the problem.