K W - Hello Poetry

K W May 2016

end

Finding solace in blood is dangerous
Because eventually the slicing
Becomes monotonous
And you seek a new escape
But as your neediness grows so does desperation
And you can only wander so far
Until you hit a wall
Or are forced off a cliff's edge

K W May 2016

sparks

Sunshine to darkness
How quickly a light can be dimmed
A flame blown out
Or a fire hosed down
Within seconds minutes hours or days
The spark inside someone
Can be obliterated
So that sadness takes over
And haunts the nights and days
Possessing you to do the unimaginable
Just to make sure you're whole body isn't numb
While tears hose down the fire within
Until you drown in your own self hatred
And ensure that there is no possibility
Of a spark ever being kindled again

K W May 2016

dependent

Lost in a sea of my own twisted thoughts
I drown
Gasping for air
But you were my air
And now I'm lost and suffocating

K W May 2016

kitchen knives

One day in a fit of loneliness and self hatred
I'll stop cutting and start carving
And it'll spell out your name
Or the words you said to me
From a time when I wasn't alone
And didn't hate myself with enough fervor
To make slashes in my skin
So deep that blood ran down my leg
And my skin burned with the hot sting
Of my own discontent and uselessness
One day in a fit of stupidity and unawareness
I'll carve your name and let the blood run
Until there's none left
And I have set myself free

May 2016

Charles Bukowski

Raw With Love

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

K W May 2016

s c r e a m

I struggle desperately to find something
something that could take the edge off
I drove around a hallowed out town
searching the streets for a place to lose my mind
I only found myself screaming at the top of my lungs
and sobbing into the steering wheel
as I rolled down the streets of places I still don't know the names of
and saw people I will never see again
the emptiness I found within my car
compared not to the fullness of my mind
trying to persuade me to consider the telephone pole
to think about the escape it could provide me
I stared longingly at every abandoned building
and bustling liquor store
never once stopping, but instead screaming
screaming until my throat hurt
screaming with all my windows up
screaming at nothing and everything
screaming, as if that would help

K W May 2016

heaven or hell

kisses like chemicals poisoning my mind
hands like knives cutting my skin
every time you embrace me
I feel myself edging closer and closer to the afterlife
every time our lips meet
I stare straight into the eyes of my maker
whether it be God of Lucifer,
all depends on what words you whisper into my ear

— The End —