the lights are off
it's time to wind down and swim away
wide eyed i peer into black nothingness
my thoughts taunt me
i want to relax and fall asleep with a humble smile

i'm lying beside you
i can feel your legs behind mine
and from the sound of your heavy breath
i know you've gone

i feel alone...

i talk to you
i tell you how much i love you
how you mean the world to me...
with rue my heart struggles from carrying this weight

i think about the things i've done wrong
my misguided naivete
the chances i missed due to careless negligence
and how fragile i've become from this soaked in sense of failure

i'm stripped down to nothing
i've shed the inane ignorance
it's not enough
i'm not enough
i fear it's too late
i want to give you a covetous life
my wants suffocate you

our heavy hearts are tied together like two fishes
something so intangible between us
how could we ever let go
this beautiful ethereal thing

a high order was made to bridge our paths
a relevant communion between the priest and the messiah
here to change the world selflessly
so similar in sentiment
so different in circumstance

drowning in passivity
black emptiness surrounds us
i love you i say
if only the meaning hadn't drifted away

Lately I've been drowning in my unspoken words
forbidden to exit my mouth
they have risen above
and turned into a dark cloud

it follows me around
it seeps into my everyday
sometimes I've forgotten it's presence
until the burning returns

i am ripe
i will burst
the actions forbidden by my body
leave me swelling
i do not know the aftermath
the conflict of not doing
holding tightly
leaving me breathless
leaving me tense

the words rest heavy on my heart
my mind races through it all
only pieces come together
and when called upon
this collage does no good

I woke up today and the sky was green.
No one seemed to notice but me.
I woke up in a place I had never been.
My things were there..
but when I looked in the mirror
I saw someone I had never seen.

We are made of so much more than skin and bones.
Through my window-like eyes
I no longer see what makes me.

I woke up today to an empty bed and an empty heart.
I woke up to nothing but pieces of me torn recklessly apart.

We are driven by people, love, and faith..
but through my window-like eyes
I no longer see what has driven me.

I woke up today to nothing but an empty shell of life.
The world had changed
and no one seemed to notice but me.

The trees were no longer green
and the sun no longer brightened this cold earth.

As the days pass, it is all new to me.
As the weeks pass, the confusion overwhelms me.
As the months pass, I can only hope you return to me.