It took a long and hard time to get here.
I know I faltered a lot...
But I feel it’s time.
I can finally,
Honestly
Say
I trust you can find someone
Who treats you better than I.

So told as the story goes,
You’ll go back to how you were,
I’ll get back to who I was,
And maybe we’ll find some peace in knowing
We’re both where we belong.

If love itself is not immortal,
Then loneliness I would rather find,
Than to live a life with love alive,
Only to watch it slowly die.

With you and me it was always all or nothing
And its taken these events to see
That only nothing is all we can bear to be

When this love dies,
Will you tell me,
Or will you drag out my heart,
Tearing me apart, piece by piece.
When this love dies,
Will you tell me,
Or hide away in two’s security
Quietly wishing not to be.

I was told to make a decision,
so I did.
I was told to stick to my word,
so I did.
I was told to learn to be a man,
so I did,
And I was told to make myself happy,
so I did.

I was told to face the facts and move on,
so I did.
I was told to accept what you said,
so I did.
I was told to fall out of love,
so I did.
And I was told to find freedom within myself,
so I did.

I was told to survive alone,
so I did.
I was told to learn to never need anyone again,
so I did.
I was told to close my heart and mind to the world,
so I did,
Then I was told to learn to love again,
and I did.
Accomplishments.

This love was built on half lies,
And the truth, so deeply hidden inside.
I can’t even trust the love you felt,
Or pretended to feel to the touch of heart.
Every smile you sent was a mask,
Pretending to be the lover you were not,
Pretending to be a little more than you were,
And looking for anything but to be lost.
But you can’t lie to me,
Anymore than you lie to yourself,
And your stories don’t match
The stories of the history of your past.
So please, take my leave as a sign,
That not only did the truth I find,
But a new way, new style of life,
Devoid of you, your history, your lies.

Every up has its down,
Every black its white,
Because it all needs to turn to grey,
To live a day through night,
And the unpredictability of this pattern,
Falls to place so naturally.
A wise man once told me,
“With beauty follows tragedy,”
And in these words,
I forget their phrase,
Catching me by surprise,
Always.

Sometimes I can’t see you anymore,
You’re nothing like the girl I fell in love with.
Your voiced change, I noticed,
And your hair parts in different ways.
It's almost like you’re someone new,
Something I never understood.
And I can’t begin to understand
Why the hell you ever changed.
You were beautiful,
You were great.
You were heartwarming,
And you made my day.
Everyday.
But now you’re gone,
This girl I loved, she’s moved away
In her place a mannequin, a fake.
She looks like you, but she's not the same.

I’m always the last one asleep,
I guess its because I like to think
And experience all that the night
Has to share with me.
Sitting in the hallways alone,
Watching cold lights line down the corridor,
I think to myself, is time alone time well spent
Or should it be spent with another.
Bass is pumping through my head
The words of another lost poet,
Drifting in and out of happiness
God, I wish I could be like him
God, I wish I could find success,
In the core being of my unhappiness.
But I know it’s not my time
My time to share the limelight
With the words I find right
Thinking alone, tonight.
The world is still spinning,
And I can still taste the pine of gin on my teeth.
Eating away at my strengths
Tearing away my dignity.
I remember when I thought words were power,
And that power was the truth
But then I changed it for what I thought better
The day that I met you.
It all started,
And it all ended,
The day that I met you.

I went on a walk.
There was a dime.
The fortunes of society wasted at my feet;
Bananas.

Black and white
No color divides
The lines between the world I see
The words between the lines I read

How can I trust you when I can’t read you
And your history holds truth
Of stories of a confusing heart
Held deep inside of you.
Please tell me dear, will you do it again,
Have you learned from your mistakes,
Do you realize now what love takes-
That its a lot more than just the take.
If I kept you in my heart, would you hurt me,
To make those mistakes again to crush,
Unintentionally, even subconsciously,
Am I expecting a little to much?
While I’m stuck in my head,
Replaying over and over again,
The scene laid before me, before you
With you lying in your bed.
To break my heart would be to end me
In the interest of romance
To accept the call of lover’s lust,
To finally lose that friend.

I am weak,
A weakling, one of strength’s stragglers,
Because I cannot hold my ground,
I am weak.

I am weak,
At one-hundred-thirty-five pounds,
There’s not too much to look at,
I am weak.

I am weak,
Because my opinions can be so easily swayed,
and my words so easily turned around,
I am weak.

I am weak,
Because I’m the first back from a fight,
Looking to make amends, no regard to who was right,
I am weak.

I am weak,
Because with you, and I always gave in,
I always came back, praying for your love to see,
This weakness isn’t me
But only to stop your leave.
But now I’ve failed,
Now you’ve left.
I am weak.

You desire, I fly higher
With both worlds exploding
And an earth-shattering understanding.
We understood what it took
I understand what we took.
With cold fire burning in our veins
And only the slightest understanding of fate,
Words no longer match the actions
When language means less than Latin.
Understanding is all it took
To find their way home in the fairytale books
But we're no longer story book settlers
Because this book is closed; we've erased the letters.

In week I’m turning twenty,
A time to end my childhood,
Numerically.
Even aesthetically,
As my face needs closer shaving,
And my body starts enlarging.
My limbs start aching,
And I can’t stay up as late as I want to,
Because sleep is now important,
Not just something impromptu.
Life lessons have gotten tougher,
Harder to see,
Without the blindfold
That childhood held on my eyes.
And the people around me have changed,
No longer innocent
No longer the same.
Having time to build a history,
With mistakes that may long last,
Sometimes its harder to accept them,
When I’m not part of their past.

I watched this grow
From the beginning
From a seed upon the earth
And I saw it grow
Into something I never
Thought could work
And as it grew
It began to unfold
Turn into something beautiful
Something I never could have known
But as it grew
It grew too tall
And with a tree so high
Gravity took its fall
And I watched it grow
Until it finally broke down
Now I watch it sink
Slowly back into the ground

If heaven was really real,
Would they let me play along?
I try not to put my head in the clouds,
But sometimes it wanders off...

If were a rich man,
Would I be torn apart?
I like to think I’d have the heart to stop
But sometimes it wanders off...

If I lived in my dreams,
Would I really be well off?
I try not to lose my mind in these
But sometimes it wanders off,

If you ever really noticed me,
Would my conscience keep me clean?
I like to think I have strong will,
But sometimes it wanders off...

If the days drag on to long and I felt I’ve had enough
Would I keep myself on track?

I like to think I hold self dignity
But sometimes it wanders off...