There was a time,
In life, lit
In the yuletide glow,
In the winter’s cold,
Our love held weight,
Like the snow on our shoulders
As we walked home on crooked legs,
As went to bed having never thought
We’d end up like this.
Sleeping apart,
Heads far from heart,
Listening to the rhythm of it beat as
We try to fall asleep, alone for the first time
In a long time.
In such a long time.

I can’t keep
Track of how much I have
To do, before I leave with
Too many degrees,
Two count, because
I’m bad at math, plus
Or minus a few figure’s but thats
Okay when I can write
My own obituary at the end of my life and leave
You all my hopes I never
Once accomplished while alive but
Dead they’re somehow more
Surreal than when
Then they were just
Dreams I had,
Under the sycamore tree 
Out front on the cool
Summer days when we held hands and talked
Silently for hours about all of
Nothing we had never done and never
Would accomplish, subtracted
By all our hopes and dreams we
Wrote down under our sleeves
And I’ll store those
In a shoe box labeled
“Memories and things, etc” for you to find
Yourself in the words and drawings I’ll have left
Right for you under
The ceiling
We shared
Alone
Together.

So yeah,
On the subject of “**** him,”
Which you did, for three months or so
In a place three thousand or so
Miles away and
I’m sure his blue eyes gleamed,
When he saw your *** naked,
And I’m sure those blue eyes rimmed
With tears when you told him you weren’t coming back
And he’d have 3,000 miles between him and that ***.

So now you’re a whole ******* ocean
And 246 days later
With a boy with brown eyes,
Me,
Whose **** is bigger,
So they say,
“Like an upgrade,” with the included price tag,
“Like an upgrade,” which you justify as
“Not that bad, really not too bad,”
But you won’t leave me for him.
Will you?

I hold my breath.
Clutch my hands.
Taking in a moment.
A lifetime.
Because I’m losing you,
and I know you feel it,
too.
So I promise to write,
poems,
and letters,
and songs,
-as you say you’ll do-
but words on a page from
3,000 miles away
just don’t mean
what they used to.
And the smile on your face,
as you turn and
fade away,
down the dimly lit terminal
at the end of your stay,
is the same one
on the same face
on the first day
you first came home
with me.

Fall is for falling in love,
I say this, because I met you under
The skeletons of October trees,
Stepping on crunching leaves,
So yellowed and gold.

With our matching eyes brown,
We walked through downtown and
I bought us coffee the we drank,
While we people watched from
That little cafe’s front porch window.

Hands intertwined, I felt alive
Or some bit farther away from death because
My heart was beating faster than it had
In days and weeks past and all
I wanted to do was kiss you.

And when I finally did, in the dark
Of my room, behind the courage of
The wine I brought us, I was so
Scared that you wouldn’t resist,
And that it would be a real kiss.

So when my fears became true you
Fell asleep on my chest, your soft hair
On my chin and I knew at that moment I
Was lost in you, intertwined like
Our bodies at the time.

Fall is for falling in love,
I say this, because I met you under the trees,
Stepping on crunching leaves,
So yellowed and gold.

Like a dream, I remember the first time,
Your hand in mine,
Walking in the crisp night air,
We had no idea where we'd lead.

With the winter breeze,
You alluded to leave, but instead
You took refuge by the fire
Of my heart, inside my bed we slept.

While we wait for spring thaw,
I’ll love you, like I did that first night,
Enjoying the cold’s necessity
For the confines of these blankets.

Every time we wake up, I’ll look into your eyes
And you’ll know you were right to stay.

Sometimes I wish life was simpler,
But then there would be no need for the poets and the prophets,
Of which I am neither.