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Justin Murray Jan 2012
Sleepless nights I dream of things
that seems to be, initially
fantasies of a boy

These dreams tend to focus me
on what I want and who I am
Role models and mentors help to shape
who you see so casually

So casual I seem to be
but my mind races frantically
Suave and cool are not my descriptors
although my shell tends to be

That shell hides me from view
to show a more likeable me
But hides the true me
Behind a wall of *******
Justin Murray Jan 2012
What can I be,
When I hate myself?

What dreams come true,
when I don't dream?

What person will love me,
when I no longer love myself?

What success will I find,
when I'm drowned in failure?

What will happiness find,
In a world of darkness?
Justin Murray Jan 2012
Midnight walks in wintertime
Mr. Moon shows his smile
my hands shake as I message her
nonsense and memories

The bitter cold bites my lips
While she makes me smile
I walk the roads of my childhood
as I dream of the future

As we play to ring in the new year
Our friends dance in the dark
I focus on my part
but keep looking for her

At a party with some friends
with drinks and games and food
She stays to care for me
after the drinks ruin my mood

I meet her to go on a walk
we watch the sunset and talk
about mistakes and dreams
just as friends and nothing more

I torture my soul everyday
I don't make that brave confession
Of the feelings in my heart
That I only have for her
Justin Murray Feb 2012
Falling in love is the best and worst thing you can do for yourself

It gives you wings, then tells you not to fly
It says trust me, but your emotions are so strong that you want to cry
It screams at you and wakes you from your dreams
then pats your head until you forget what freedom means

And as you wrap yourself in the arms of the one you claim to love
You forget the strength of standing alone and take comfort in there shadow. Falling in love is the best and worst thing you can do for yourself

It opens your eyes so you put someone else first. To the point where there thirst becomes your thirst. There passion your motivation. And there is no shame to giving of yourself freely. And you never look for a favor in return because every gift was just that, a token of your love.

There is no shame only joy and it only hurts when they return all your gifts broken.
Falling in love is the best and worst thing you can do for yourself.

-Written by my close friend Nyda Simmonds
Justin Murray Feb 2012
How can I miss someone I've never met?
Just an idea of a person,
made up of parts of the people I love.
A smile from a long lost friend,
a hug from a new one.
The body of my dreams,
reshaped by reality.

I dream of us together,
nothing intimate or ******.
Just spending time together,
loving
every look, every text,
every smile, every laugh,
every argument,
every morning and every night,
Together.

I stare into the moon, wishing you're looking too.
Wherever you are,
whoever you are,
whatever you do,
whatever you have done.
I don't know you,
and I don't care.
Because I love you.
Justin Murray May 2012
Sitting in a room
of paintcans and carpentry

With glasses off and headphones on
sticks in hand, pedals under foot

Breathing in paint fumes
exhaling the day

The band appears next to me
my foot becomes the click

As I close my eyes
I hear the crowd

The guitar begins to play
as the world fades to black

My hands try to quit
but my heart tightens my grip

Out of breath
Soaked in sweat
Nothing else matters
Just play that
Justin Murray Jan 2012
I hope to be
eventually
That man I see
trapped inside of me
And cease to be
the man they see
as that shell of me
Justin Murray Jan 2012
I feel lost inside my head
Every word I read hides a novel
You seem so close but that's not true
You dream of the man in blue

My heart leads me like a compass
Straight to you
To you
My mind tells me its wrong
But I love you
Love you

At my work my mind is split
But my heart is always true
Every time the door opens
I search for you

My house is not a home
When I'm all alone
My smile is just a guise
When my heart is weeping

The music drowns the life
That breaks my heart
Nothing else matters
Except the art

But at that final note
It all comes flooding back
With you at the masthead
All dressed in black

My heart leads me like a compass
Straight to you
To you
My mind tells me its wrong
But I love you
Love you

— The End —